Touche Bonnie Bennett
by Sweet-Tahira
Summary: It starts with a visit... how it will end it anyone's guess.
1. Reason

**A/N So I posted this story previously and it got removed I guess because Rating 'T' wasn't high enough. So this time around I am making it 'M' and I'm going to expand on this. It will pick up right after the Beremy break up and move on from there. This was previously a short story that I'm going to try and flush out and tie in with the current storyline going on. I hope that you guys enjoy and let me know what you think. The first four chapters are the same. Nothing changes until chapter Five. Thanks and happy reading!**

**Touché Bonnie Bennett!**

**Chapter One: Reason**

_**{Playlist: 'Cosmic Love' By: Florence and the Machine}**_

_**No dawn no day**_

_**I'm always in this twilight**_

_**In the shadow of your heart…**_

_It all starts with a visit…_

Break-ups were hard. She knew that… perhaps not first hand. But she had seen them enough to know that it wasn't easy. It hurt, it became awkward and at the end of the day nothing could ever be the same. She had watched Elena and Matt wade through that rough tide desperately trying to maintain some semblance of friendship, had seen the pain on Stefan's face when Elena had to go off and find herself… and stood by Caroline when Matt broke her heart. But watching someone's heart break and actually experiencing it yourself were two completely different things as she was finding out.

Her heart was broken. Jeremy Gilbert despite all his good intentions and boyish charm had managed to break her heart in less time than it took to boil an egg. So perhaps that was a mild exaggeration but that is how she felt. And despite promising herself that she wouldn't wallow in self-pity, that's exactly what she was doing. She hadn't left her front porch in almost a week! Avoided calls from Elena and Caroline and even managed to ditch school for the past few days without so much as her father taking notice.

She knew that there were still things that needed to be dealt with. One, Stefan's humanity, or rather lack thereof; Tyler's new hybrid status; and of course the fact that now there was a new player running around town called Mikel who seemed to want Klaus as dead as they all did. Yes life seemed to still be throwing things at them… the only problem was that as of this very moment she really didn't give a damn!

Yes… she _should _ care; Her broken heart should not take precedence over all that was happening in her town. She knew that logically… but she was so tired of being logical. She was tired of being the reasonable one; Tired of always being the one to see things objectively. She was in pain damn it. She hurt! She didn't want to be the grown-up! She didn't want to be the bigger person. Not this time.

So when Damon steps onto her porch sporting his stupid black leather jacket and dark jeans smirking at her like he knows some big secret that no one else did… it was only logical that she would give him an aneurism just because she could.

He falters on the second step, grabbing at his head as he stumbles into the railing. It takes her a full minute before she realizes what she's done and stops herself.

"Seriously; I haven't even had time to do anything to annoy you!" he snaps as he recovers from the after effects that vibrate over his frontal lobe.

She arches an eyebrow. "The sight of you annoys me." She exhales deeply really not in the mood to deal with him.

He smirks. "Noted."

Rolling her eyes she plants her feet on the ground stopping the porch swing from swaying and cocks her head in his direction. "Look I'm really not in the mood to hear you tell me what I should do or what I have messed up for you and your stupid world right now. So whatever lecture you have planned I don't want to hear it. Just leave." She remarks tiredly.

"Was that an official warning or just more of what I like to call 'Bonnie Babble'?" He asks. "Look I love our sparring sessions as much as the next root canal but we don't have time for that right now. You need to come down to the caves and see what you can make of these ancient hieroglyphics we found instead sitting out here wallowing."

Shaking her head she stands and goes for her front door. "Go to hell." She snaps feeling the air hit her back as he moves to stand right behind her. His fingers barely graze her shoulder and she's pushing him back with her mind. He stops right before going over the railing.

He chuckles darkly. "So is that how it's going to be now?" He asks. "Young Gilbert steps on your heart and you become even more of a raging bitch than before? I expected better from you, Bennett."

Turning around she feels the blood rush to her head in anger. "Who the hell are you to expect anything from me?" Bristling with rage she takes a step in his direction. "You… who can't get a grip on his own issues long enough to help the brother that has given up everything to save you time and time again! And for what… so you can repay him by moving in on his girl? You, who has no loyalty to anyone… not even himself! Because if you did… you would realize that being Elena's hero is the absolute last thing she needs! I see you for exactly what you are Damon Salvatore… you're selfish and you're reckless! And most of all you're sad… because after everything… over a hundred years later and what have you learned… absolutely nothing… you are nothing… So I ask you again… who the hell are you to expect anything from someone like me?" She was in his face and she has no idea how she got there. Her breathing ragged it scratches against her chest. And for a moment there is a silence, blue irises stare her down, looking over her face as if searching… examining.

Shaking her head she moves one step away but doesn't back off and when he finally speaks it's slow and steady.

"I'm the reason you fight." He states plainly. "I'm the reason why you don't walk away from it all; the reason why you never give up. Because of me and things like me! The monsters that hover on the outskirts of that perfect world that you want so badly; the reason you keep sticking your neck out time and time again… I'm the reason why you are who you are… because I'm the constant reminder of the evils that desperately want into this town; your town! You see my face and you see all that you stand to lose… and you can lie to yourself all you want to… tell everyone who will listen that you do it for Elena… but we both know the truth. I'm your reason to get up in the morning, Bonnie. I may be nothing to this world… but in your eyes I'm everything!" He ends harshly closing the space between them he crouches down to make sure she can see him. "_That's_ who the _fuck_ I am."

They stand there both pairs of eyes narrowing in on the other and it seems like they will stand there forever… until her cell phone rings and she can sense who it is even before she hears Elena's voice. "Hey… yeah he's here…he told me." A beat of silence and she watches the smile that forms on his lips as she answers her best friend. "I'll be right there." She replies hanging up before Elena can ask her for more…

"So… I would offer you a ride but… I don't want to." He states bluntly turning on his heel taking the first few steps he stops when he hears her voice.

"You're wrong you know… you're not everything to me."

_**The stars the moon they have all been blown out**_

And he's not… There is no way that Damon could ever be more to her than a fleeting nuisance. Like a fly that kept buzzing around her annoyingly. And yet there is something deep inside… buried beneath years of accumulated denial that rumbles, quakes and makes her heart falter when he looks over his shoulder and gives her that trademark grin.

"Prove me wrong then." He challenges.

She watches him drive away wondering what that even means because how could she prove him wrong without turning her back on everyone that needs her… it was simple… she couldn't and they both knew it.

"Son-of-a-bitch!" Just when she thinks she has the upper-hand he turns the tables and makes her eat shit!

_**You left me in the dark...**_

_**To Be continued…**_


	2. Truce

_**Touché Bonnie Bennett**_

_**{Part Two}**_

_**A Truce of Sorts**_

The next time they meet is almost a week later…

She is at the Mystic Grille, stirring her spoon in a lukewarm hot chocolate that now lacked whipped cream. It had been consumed in the first few seconds it had hit her table… which had been almost an hour ago. The monotonous clinking of metal hitting her ceramic mug is almost hypnotic if not altogether soothing. She is stalling. She knows what she should be doing… she _should be _out shopping for a new dress for Homecoming. She had already made the decision to go… or better put Elena had made it a point to tell her all the reasons why she needed to go.

One: Klaus would be there…trying to take over the world with his new breed of hybrids.

Two: Mikael would be there… someone who wanted Klaus dead more than any of them… and apparently the enemy of my enemy really was their friend… or something like that.

Three: This may be their last chance to get Stefan back to the way he used to be…

She rolls her eyes at the last statement because she doesn't understand that. She can't fathom how _this_ could be their last chance. As if somehow_ this_ homecoming was the pinnacle point in a string of plans that hadn't worked thus far. But who is she to point out the obvious?

Just like she couldn't begin to understand how spending all your free time with the guy that killed your brother simply because he didn't like your response to his inappropriate kiss, was somehow going to get you closer to getting your 'true love' back!

Shaking her head she exhales deeply trying to rid her mind of the jumbled thoughts that made absolutely no sense to her in the first place. She has never understood her best friend's way of thinking when it came to the men in her life. It started with her break-up with Matt after her parent's death and only got more confusing when the Salvatore Brothers stepped onto the scene. But it really wasn't for her to understand, was it? She had her own issues… problems that had to be dealt with… and messing around trying to make sense of Elena's stupid love/lust triangle was low on the totem pole… extremely low.

One of those problems sliding into the booth across from her causes her to look up and meet his uncertain stare. Her spoon stops mid-stir. She furrows her brow. "Bonnie…" He begins but she cuts him off.

"What are you doing here Jeremy?" She asks as if she truly can't understand his presence…

"I just want to talk."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you." Her statement is swift and honest. She does not want to talk to him. She does not want to see him. She is angry… has been for a while now… apparently this was how she dealt with a broken heart… she got mad.

On instinct he reaches for her hand which she is quick to draw back to the safety beneath the table. "Don't…"

"Bonnie… at least let me explain." He is so contrite… so sincere and for some reason it grates on her nerves, shreds them and makes her want to throw something at him.

"There is nothing to explain…"

He shakes his head as he smiles in disbelief. She can see each of his pearly white teeth against smooth ivory toned lips… still so handsome…even now. Even when she wants to punch him right between the eyes. "You don't understand… Seeing Anna again… it was like a dream… a second chance to… to…"

"To what; to rekindle your relationship; to pick up where you left off?" She provides not sure why she is even doing this. This is not her. She does not do this! She does not allow her anger to rule who she is. She does not allow her emotions to dictate how she will react. She is the logical one… so why is the salt shaker quaking on the table… its glass container hopping around as though ready to take flight? If Jeremy sees it he pretends he doesn't.

"You don't understand… the way she felt about me… the way I felt about her I never felt like that before…"

"I don't understand?! _I… don't… understand?_" She asks incredulously.

"She loved me…" He states as if that's all the explanation that he needs to give.

"And I didn't… I brought you back from the dead! I loved you enough to defy my ancestors… go against all the warnings… because I loved you that much! So don't sit there and tell me I don't understand! Don't you dare diminish the depth of my feelings for you just because you were incapable of being honest with me about yours!" And now the table was vibrating… and people were starting to stare.

"Bonnie… calm down." Once again he reaches for her and this time it's pure reflex that she stops him with her mind; Puts an invisible block on his movements. He looks up, shock and mild horror written across his delicate features. Bonnie has only ever used her powers on him once… to save his life. But this time… this time… "Bonnie…what… what are you doing?" He asks.

And for a second she's really not sure…she hurts so bad and for just a moment she wants to hurt him… make him understand how much damage he has done to her heart… but then she feels the hand on her shoulder… the cold digits press into her heated flesh and forces her to look up and meet his eyes.

Damon stares at her. "Let him go."

And his words are like a wake up call and suddenly she remembers this is not her… this is not who she is or even what she wants to become.

'_You are stronger than all of this…' Sheila's words ring in her head._

And just like that she releases him… and everything goes eerily still. A moment passes… and still no one moves… and then she bolts out of the booth and is out the door and running for her car.

Jeremy stands to go after her but Damon steps in his path. "I wouldn't do that." He remarks lazily his hand pressing into the younger man's chest.

"I need to check on her… I need to make sure that she's okay."

And for just a moment he's tempted to ask him where all this concern was when he was trying to get horizontal and relive his glory days with his ghost of a girlfriend… but time is getting away from him and so is Bonnie. "No… you need to listen to me and just back off… for your own good… just go home and be thankful that stopping you in your tracks is all that Bonnie did to you." The warning is clear.

He furrows his brow. "What are you talking about? This is Bonnie…she would never do anything to hurt me."

Damon tries not to be annoyed by the obvious naivety that is staring him in the face. This boy that truly has no clue… no way of fathoming how dangerous the little witch was… how powerful she really is. He shakes his head giving him an acerbic smile. "You have no clue what a pissed off Bennett will do… trust me!"

Before Jeremy can dispute anything Damon has said he is gone. The space before him empty. He sighs and slumps back into his former seat wondering if perhaps there was truth in his words…

She speeds off her hands shaking violently on the steering wheel. She drives aimlessly not aware of her surroundings until she pulls into a parking space and she sees she's at the mall. She makes no move to get out of her vehicle. The scene replaying itself in her mind; Jeremy's horror stricken face… the fear in his eyes when he realizes that she has used her powers on him… the anger she felt despite his fear… her pain... Her hands clench tightly around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white…her heart beats rapidly inside her chest.

'_God… what had she almost done?'_

It's the sudden tapping on her window that jolts her back to the present. She turns and there he is again. For a moment she makes no move. Not sure why he is there… how he has found her. She is tempted to shift her car into reverse and speed off again… but then he taps again and arches an eyebrow as if he can tell what she's thinking. Outrunning a vampire isn't sensible… she knows that. Besides he knows where she lives… he would just find his way on her doorstep again and that's the last place she wants him to be.

Better to deal with devil now than later.

She steps out and closes the door with a snap and when she turns to look at him she's not surprised that he's in her personal space as if he has no sense of boundaries because she has a feeling that he doesn't. She cocks her head to the side and stares up into his face.

"Are you stalking me now?" She asks tiredly.

And he is quiet… much like before when he stared her down on her front porch. Blue pupils intense and unwavering look her over as if studying her… examining all the little things that make her up. And although her words come off as nonchalant and annoyed he sees the way she stuffs her hands into the pockets of her pea coat to hide the way they still shake. His lips curve upwards slowly… the smile he offers is all-knowing…and borderline sinister.

"We need to talk."

'_Was that the standard line of the day?'_

"Yeah… about what?" And there is a definite challenge in her tone. As if she is daring him to call her out… daring him to give voice to her lost of control. And there is a small part of her that wants him to… wants him to pass judgment on her so that she can retaliate… release some of this emotion that is simmering beneath her surface… she wants him to say something so she can simply just… let go.

And perhaps he senses her challenge. Realizes how fine that line really is should he say the wrong thing. "Elena tells me that you're going to Tyler's little shin-dig tonight."

"So?"

"_So…_ I think we should go over our game plan. Make sure we're clear on where we both stand."

And there is something about his words that makes her want to scoff and laugh bitterly but she doesn't. She simply furrows her brow. "We don't have a game plan… and where I stand… is anywhere that you don't." She walks around him heading into the mall missing the way he rolls his eyes at her departure.

He trails behind her talking over her shoulder as she tries to ignore him. "Look you don't like me, I get that. But I know that you like Klaus a lot less! So what do you say we shelve the animosity for one night and work together?" He proposes. When she continues to rifle through dresses ignoring his presence he steps in her path making sure to come as close to her as possible without actually touching her. "We both know that you can't take on Klaus alone and neither can I. If he is half as smart as we know he is then he's got a back up plan… and a back up plan for his back up plan! We need all the help we can get… I need all the help I can get."

She shakes her head but can't deny that she sees his point. Innocent people were bound to get hurt but if they worked together perhaps they could minimize the damage… and maybe save a few lives. God knows she was tired of seeing familiar faces fading from her town. Cut down too soon by the ever growing monsters that were invading her life… her home.

"I'm listening…" She replies waiting to hear his grand master scheme.

He nods. "Klaus is coming back to get proof that his father is dead. Now he knows that we would never allow him to just come here without trying to take him out… and you and I both know he would never walk blindly into anything… so that means if he's coming back here he must have something up his sleeve… something to insure his safety."

"You mean Stefan?" She questions.

He shakes his head. "My brother will be the least of our concerns tonight…" His words are cryptic but the glint in his eyes tells her that he has made arrangements for his brother. "It's everything else that might get in our way… and that's where you come in." She exhales deeply and he takes that as permission to continue. "I need you to make sure that I get a clear path to Klaus… anything…_anyone_ that gets in my way… I need you to take care of them."

"You mean…" She begins when he cuts in.

"I mean that tonight I'm taking out Klaus, no matter what! I'm going to save my brother Bonnie if it's the last thing that I do and I'm taking anyone out that gets in the way!" He explains his stare unflinching. "So I'm giving you the opportunity to intercede and get those obstacles removed… because you and I both know that if left to me… bodies left in my wake don't bother me."

"Is that a threat?" She asks.

He folds his arms over his chest mirroring her move. "Not at all… There are very few people in this world that I think are worth saving…but my brother tops the list… always has… always will."

_**And in the dark**_

_**I can hear your heart beat**__…_

And there is something to be admired about this devotion; this all or nothing attitude that he has for his brother. There is a steel edged commitment that he is showing her… telling her in no uncertain terms that there is nothing that he won't do for the brother that he has spent most of his life fighting… perhaps blood really was thicker than water. Because for all his complaining… all his schemes and backstabbing… there is an unwavering honest pact…brother for brother… above all, damned the rest of the world that gets in the way.

And the mere fact that he has come to her, has laid this shaky truce at her feet is a testament to the fact that he has shown regard for someone else's life outside of Stefan's and Elena's.

She will not lie… she is impressed.

She takes in a breath... "Even if I get you a clear path to him… there's still a good chance that you'll die you know?" She begins to rummage through the dresses needing something to distract her from the words she has uttered because for some reason they actually bother her.

He shrugs. "If that's the card I'm dealt with then that's it… but I'm taking him with me."

"What makes you so sure that you can take him down?" She asks pulling a deep green off the shoulder mini from the rack and holding it up to her chin. She frowns and puts it back.

"Let's just say that I've got my own insurance policy." There he was again with the cryptic words. He watches her for a moment as she pulls another dress… it's a dark blue halter made of chiffon and lace that stops right at her knees. She stares at herself in the mirror with displeasure and only looks at him when he comes to stand behind her pulling the dress from her fingers as he holds up another in its place. "This is going down tonight… and I'd rather have you on my side then against me… Besidesd wouldn't it be great to be able to release some of that anger you have on those that really deserve it?" He asks silkily holding the dress beneath her chin. It's a champagne mini dress. The fabric bunched and stretchy she knows it will be tight. It's smooth like silk and screams the words 'out of her budget'.

_**I tried to find the sound…**_

_**But then it stopped**_

_**And I was in the darkness…**_

Her green eyes lock with his in the mirror. It's the first time that he has mentioned anything from earlier. But as she meets his stare she realizes there is no judgment. "Not that Little Gilbert hasn't done enough to deserve your wrath; but I just don't think that Elena would be willing to forgive you."

"Why not; she forgave you." She points out cheekily even as she moves away from him grabbing another dress in outright defiance.

He smiles, beautiful straight white teeth that flash under poor department store lighting. "Touché Bonnie Bennett…"

"Besides I would never hurt Jeremy… or anyone else… that didn't come after me first." She finishes pointedly.

He nods. "Noted… so tonight…" He hedges.

"Tonight… we call a truce." She finishes.

And this time when he smiles it almost seems genuine. He walks by her, pressing the dress into her palms. "Don't be late… I would hate to have to start without you." He whispers in her ear before walking away.

She exhales deeply biting the inside of her cheek. Something tells her that she has just made a deal with the devil…

She looks down at the garment in her hands shrugging heavily as she heads for the cashier.

'_Well better to deal with the devil you know than the one you don't!'_

_**So darkness I became…**_

_**To be Continued…**_


	3. Playback

**Touché' Bonnie Bennett**

**{Part Three}**

**Playback**

_**Playlist: My Skin by Natalie Merchant**_

"He has no idea where it all went wrong…" Katherine sighs even as the car rolls to a gradual stop.

"And he doesn't need to know." Stefan replies. "Stop up here." He instructs.

"You good from here?" She asks looking around at what seems to be the middle of nowhere and he nods. "Okay…well, I need to put about a million miles between myself and Klaus as quickly as possible."

Looking over at her he stares as if debating on his next question but finding it too tempting not to. "How did you know… that I would try and save him?"

"I didn't… I just hoped that you would want to..."

She looks at him, her big brown eyes staring at him. And for a moment she sees the young man that desperately wanted so badly to capture her heart. Nothing more than a boy whose views on life she never truly understood. So much goodness, untouched, unmarred… until she came along. And although she will never utter the words she knows that she has done him a great wrong by ever coming into his life. It will be a regret that she will carry with her for the rest of her undead life. She was more than he could handle and yet sometimes she feels that he is the one that is too much.

"You risked everything just to save Damon?"

"It wasn't just Damon's life that I was trying to save. I was trying to save yours… your humanity…"

"Come on… you don't care about anyone but yourself…"

"Not true… I loved you… I love Damon too." And she is being honest. She loved them the only way she knew how. It wasn't noble… it wasn't pure… but it was passionate and it was for real. She had loved him completely. He could never understand what that truly meant. He didn't realize that she loved like she fought… brutally, intensely sometimes downright violently… but for her that was how it had to be. And for someone like him… someone who embraced everything about being human he could never truly understand what she felt. "Humanity is a vampire's greatness weakness… no matter how hard you try to turn it off… it just keeps trying to fight its way back in… sometimes I let it." For him… for him sometimes she always would.

He exhales deeply watching a pair of headlights come into view. It stops about a few hundred yards ahead of them, flashing its lights three times. "I can't let it all back in… I don't want to." He admits.

"Of course you don't… but if you don't let yourself feel… then you can't do what I need you to do."

"And what's that?" He asks.

Leaning in she stares into his eyes. Light brown pupils that once held an innocence that she hadn't seen since she was human. "Get mad… Get mad Stefan." She orders.

The headlights flash again distracting Katherine if only for a moment. She looks out her front windshield as the door to the truck opens a lone figure jumping down from the driver's seat. Walking to the front she can barely make out the silhouette illuminated by the high beams. "Who is that?" She asks turning back to Stefan and is caught off guard by the look in his eyes.

"Get mad… _I_ _already am_." He replies and the smile he offers is so chilled it creates icicles down her spine. "Good-bye Katherine."

He exits without looking back walking to the shadow that remains hidden by over-bright lights. Katherine opens her door needing a better view and her eyes go wide at the sight. The long dark hair, the petite body wrapped in a dark blue overcoat… the self-righteous stance she would know from anywhere… "I suppose it's easy to get mad when you have a witch in your back pocket." She calls out to him.

He stops as he comes closer staring down into the shadowy green pupils of Bonnie Bennett.

_**Flashback…**_

_**Tyler's party…**_

_He grabs his head as he feels the pain shooting through his brain. His knees buckle, vision blurs and he's so close to passing out that he's practically praying for it just to get some relief. "Boonnnieee." He grits out through clenched teeth._

_It takes her a moment but she eventually eases up and backs off all the while subduing Tyler._

_Anger is the emotion that shoots through him first when he recovers. "What the hell?! You weren't supposed to witchy migraine me!" _

"_You weren't supposed to kill Tyler!" She points out obviously._

"_He tried to bite me!" He refutes. That alone should have given him free reign to defend himself. He had always hated Lockwood… the world would be a better place if he weren't in it. Exhaling deeply he snatches the dagger from the floor._

"_What is that?"_

"_Nothing…" He tucks it in his jacket hoping that she will leave well enough alone._

"_Oh my God… is that the…"_

_He's quick to quiet her, closing the distance between them and placing his palm over smooth glossed lips. "Shhhh… they're everywhere." He mouths watching her green eyes flash in anger and annoyance. _

_She pulls back._

"_Why do you have it?" She whispers harshly her warm breath hitting his face. She smells of fresh rain and new fire._

"_Because I'm the only one that can get inside the house!" He snaps. Looking around he realizes that they are running out of time. "Can you stay here… make sure the dog stays down for a while?"_

"_What are you going to do?"  
_

"_What I came here to do." He states. He heads for the door. "Klaus and daddy Vamp are in the foyer… it's time to end this."_

"_Hey…" She calls out and as he looks over his shoulder and raises his brow in question she realizes something very profound. There are words that she wants to say… something encouraging… something…anything… because in all honesty this might be it… when he walks out that door there's a good chance she's never going to see him again. And it shouldn't matter to her what happens to him… but it does and she feels that in this moment she should say something to let him know that it does. But what could she say that didn't sound false… didn't sound cliché or just downright inappropriate considering who they were? So she said the only thing that she could… "Don't miss!"_

_He gives her a sarcastic grin and then he's gone. Leaving her alone with Tyler Lockwood and a fucked up guest room. She only stands there for about a minute before she realizes that she should be out there… perhaps she could do more than just watch the wolf… perhaps she could save a few vamps in the process._

_Going into the hall she casts a spell on the double doors locking Tyler inside. She's not sure how long it will last but she hopes for the best. She turns ready to pursue Damon when she runs straight into the other Salvatore._

_Cold hands grab her forearms and for a brief moment she is struck with fear and pushes herself against the door away from Stefan. He raises his hands in surrender._

"_Bonnie wait… I'm not… I'm not going to hurt you." He remarks instantly. "I promise."_

"_Your promises mean very little these days Stefan."_

_He nods. "I know and if I were you I wouldn't trust me either… but I need you to tell me where Damon is."When he is met with silence he sighs. "Please Bonnie…I have to find him before it's too late." _

"_He went after Klaus… to kill him and break the hold he has on you."_

_He groans. "No… tell me where they are. I have to stop him."_

"_Why? I thought you didn't want to be Klaus's bitch anymore."Her words are harsher than she intends them to be but reigning in her anger is starting to become more and more of a challenge these days._

"_I don't! But if Damon kills Klaus… it's going to kill Damon."_

"_What?"She must have heard that wrong._

"_He's insured that if he dies… Damon is going with him… I can't let that happen, Bonnie. I just can't! Tell me where they are."_

_She exhales deeply. Why did it always happen this way… how did things always get so messed up? There was a time when she would have gladly exchanged Damon's life for Stefan's. When exactly did that change she's not sure but it has. "They're in the foyer… at the front of the house."_

_And when he thanks her there is such a sincere gratitude in his words that she almost believes she has the old Stefan back "I'm coming with you."_

"_No… there's something else I need you to do for me… something that is going to help us get rid of Klaus once and for all."_

_*****Back to Present******_

"Everything go okay?" He asks already knowing the answer.

Dropping the keys into his upturned palm she exhales deeply. "A truck full of coffins courtesy of Klaus's family… as promised."

"Run into any problems?" He asks.

"No… you were right. Klaus was so distracted going after Mikael and thinking that you double crossed Damon, he forgot all about his unguarded family. I got in and out without anyone noticing. By the way… how did you know about that 'Glimmer Spell' in the grimoire?" She asks.

He shrugs absently. "Let's just say that Damon isn't the only Salvatore that's travelled with witches… sometimes you pick up a few things."

Turning her eyes to meet Katherine's she tucks her hands into the pockets of her coat. "What about her?"

Stefan waves at Katherine who has yet to move. The shock is evident and he finds it amusing. It's hard to surprise his former lover and he knows that for the first time in years he has. It feels good.

"She's on her way out of town... she won't be a problem." He explains.

She nods. "If you say so…" She has already put her trust in two vampires in less than 24 hours… she has met her limit.

"Let's get out of here." His hand on her lower back he leads her away.

Katherine watches as they make their way back to the truck and drive off… Salvatore and Bennett… witch and vampire…the sight amuses her and sets off warning bells in the pit of her stomach because she knows whenever a witch and a vampire team up a storm is sure to follow…

_Hours Later…_

Standing on the threshold of the boarding house she hesitates if only for a moment thinking about her conversation she had with Stefan an hour earlier…

_**Flashback**_

_**One hour earlier…**_

"…_what do you mean you don't want to tell him?" She questions hotly. Standing in the middle of the den of Stefan's newly acquired rental home she looks around at the coffins that line the walls. It had taken them only about an hour to unload Klaus's family and the sight still creeps her out._

"_There's no point! What I did was to save his life."_

"_And he has the right to know that!"_

"_I did this to get Damon away from the danger… telling him the truth would only make him jump right back in! I'm doing this for him!"_

_She shakes her head. "Stefan this isn't right…"_

"_You agreed to help me Bonnie."_

"_I never agreed to this! You can't really expect me to keep him in the dark… not when he was ready to risk everything to save you tonight." She replies beginning to pace. "He was going up against Klaus knowing there was a good chance that he wouldn't make it out alive! He's earned the right to know what you've done."_

"_I never asked him to do that."_

"_And he never asked you to save him… but you did… you always do." She states. "Don't you see… it's what you do…the both of you. Stefan you had every reason not to care tonight… every reason to just let Damon walk to death's door… but you didn't! You stopped him because you cared… because there is nothing on this Earth that can keep you from caring about your brother. Your bond is stronger than any Original. You guys beat the odds every time because you never give up on one another… that's what's going to get us through this… you need him… just like he needs you."_

_Stopping to stand in front of him she stares him in the eyes watching him take in a breath simply out of habit._

"_All this faith… in Damon… in me… where is it coming from?" He asks._

_She shrugs and offers up a wayward smile. "Call it intuition."_

"_I'd rather call it setting yourself up for a fall… you have these great expectations but the truth is Bonnie… most of us aren't as great as others paint us to be… a lot of times we fall short… people have a way of disappointing you… especially when you think they won't."_

_And for a moment all she can do is stare at the haunted look in his eyes and wonder when it got there… Klaus has done more damage than anyone truly realizes. It will take a lot to bring Stefan back… but if anyone can it will be Damon. She is sure of that. He wouldn't give up on his brother… she really believes that._

"_And sometimes people surprise you…"_

_******Back to Present******_

She goes to knock but stops when she realizes that the door is open. She makes her way down the hall hearing the hushed voices coming from the library.

"_We thought of everything! We had everything covered! And it still went wrong… Stefan saved Klaus…"_

"_I don't understand. I thought that he wanted Klaus dead. He wanted to be free of him."_

"_We were wrong…we were all wrong." He exhales feeling utterly defeated. He struggles with his next words…"I'm never getting my brother back am I?"The very question breaks his heart because he never thought it would come to this… not with Stefan. It's more than just a lost of a brother… it's an absolute failure on his part. He has failed Stefan._

_When Elena steps into his personal space reaching for him like she always does he is startled by her words. "Then we'll let him go… and we will survive… we always survive." Elena remarks placing her palms against Damon's cheeks staring into his eyes._

_**Take a look at my body  
Look at my hands  
There's so much here  
That I don't understand**_

And the scene is so intimate… so intense and personal and it catches her off guard. She stands there as though caught in the midst of something great… overwhelming and… and wrong… so very…very wrong. Because it is in those few seconds right before Damon catches Bonnie's scent… mere moments before his eyes find her standing on the threshold that she realizes what is about to happen... what _would_ have happened if she hadn't been noticed.

"Bonnie…" It's his voice that fills the room as though trying to chase away what was just there… but it is too late…

She has seen it… felt it… and it cannot be taken back…it cannot be as if it never was.

Elena steps away from him… turning to her best friend she runs her hand through long brown tendrils. "Bonnie… what are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

_**I've been treated so wrong  
I've been treated so long  
As if I'm becoming untouchable**_

"I just…" She struggles to find the words but for some reason it is hard…it is physically hard to speak…to breathe... it feels as if there is something pressing against her chest… pushing down on her lungs, constricting her. Her eyes go from Damon to Elena and then back again. She shakes her head. "I just came by to make sure that you were okay… to see if you needed anything." The words tumble from her lips as something inside her is shutting down…as if she is going numb.

She hears Elena speaking. Something about not believing that Stefan is lost to them… has truly left her…

…but it doesn't really compute because a part of her has already stopped listening… has checked out and left. She can see the unshed tears in Elena's eyes and the sad pout of her lips but she isn't sure who exactly they are for… for the man that she thinks has abandoned her or for being caught in a moment of weakness. Not that it matters…

She nods as if understanding. "Well then… I'm going to go." She replies and she has already taken a step back…ready to retreat and escape. She can hear Elena calling after her but she can't bring herself to stay. Her lungs feel like they are on fire no matter how hard she struggles for breath and that weight on her chest continues to press against her…

_**Contempt loves the silence  
It thrives in the dark  
With fine winding tendrils  
That strangle the heart**_

It's not the pain of a broken heart because Damon Salvatore does not have that kind of power… but it is something that causes distress to her insides. Makes them churn and twist in a way she has never felt before. She is at the door when she feels his fingers wrap around her wrist. She looks back in time to see what looks to be guilt reflected in ice blue orbs. "Bonnie…"

And she shakes her head almost imperceptibly to the naked eye as if to stop him… because what is there to say? He's not sure why but he feels as if he has wronged her in some way but how is that possible? He has never promised her anything… never portrayed himself to be anymore than what he is… yet somehow he feels as if he has let her down and there is an urge to make it right but the way to do that eludes him just like her.

"I just wanted to say… thank you, for your… help." He finishes lamely. "Even if it didn't make a difference."

"I wouldn't say that… Mikael's dead… that's a difference. Who knows… perhaps that's just one of many…?" She can't quite bring herself to smile and she is starting to feel lightheaded from what she believes is a lack of oxygen… "It's late. I'm going to go."

He nods and it is not in his nature to offer her a ride home so he doesn't. Simply watches as she leaves… never once looking back…

_**They say that promises  
Sweeten the blow  
But I don't need them  
No, I don't need them…**_

"…You know what never gets old…revenge… What's the matter Klaus… missing something? I wonder Klaus as someone whose been one step ahead for a thousand years...were you prepared for this?" He asks before snapping the phone shut.

He hangs up just as the front door opens and there she stands on his doorstep… It's been hours since she left.

_**I've been treated so wrong  
I've been treated so long**_

And now here she is… her hair tangled and wet, her clothes soaked completely through she crosses the threshold into his house. She doesn't offer an explanation as to where she's been or for the state of her appearance. It looks as if she went swimming with her clothes on. Instead she simply makes her way to the bay window her shoes leave wet imprints as she goes stopping and leaning tiredly against the windowpane.

"So…where's the cavalry?" He asks placing his hands into the pockets of his jeans somehow sensing that everything has changed. That somehow things have shifted in the hours that she has been away.

She exhales deeply. "We're it…"

He arches his eyebrows in question at her tone. "What happened?"

She shrugs. "Well let's just say you were right… people have a way of disappointing you… even when you believe they have every reason not to." She remarks softly.

He does not ask her to elaborate…

She does not bother to try…

_**As if I'm becoming untouchable…**_

_**To Be Continued…**_


	4. Confession

_Touché Bonnie Bennett_

Chapter Four- Confession

_**Playlist: 'Displaced' By Azure (Put it on repeat and read… trust me…)**_

_She walks along the cemetery, the sun is bright, almost blinding. Tombstones mark her way… the names engraved against the stones are blurred but somehow she knows they are her ancestors. The Bennett lineage designates her path until she is standing before a coffin. Made of deep red mahogany wood, trimmed with gold accents; it is handcrafted. Forged from majestic hands, sealed by blood and tears; the answer to killing Klaus is within. She knows it… feels it deep inside her soul. _

_Placing her fingertips at the edge she tries to open it… it won't move. It won't budge. There is something keeping it shut…_

"_You're not ready."_

_She whirls around; the silhouette of a woman stands in the distance. She is tall with dark hair, but her face is hidden, shadowed by the light of the sun._

"_I need to get inside."_

"_You're not ready. We all have our parts to play Bonnie… you must play your part… you must be ready."_

"_Please help me… I have to get inside… it's the only way to save my friend."_

"_It can only be opened when you're ready… when you accept what must be done Accept your part…play your part..."_

"_I don't understand."_

"_Choice… you must choose Bonnie. Being a witch comes with a price… we make the rules… we make the sacrifice… we make the choice… so choose. Choose Bonnie… What will it be?"_

"_I don't… I can't."_

"_You must! There is no other way… no one else. It's you… it must be you. Play your part and decide… or all is lost…"_

"_I have to save her… I choose her."She replies._

_In an instant she hears the creaking as the lid lifts on its own… she turns in time to see him… Klaus is there, his face smooth and pure; he looks almost peaceful. And then in a blink his eyes are open and he reaches for her. His movements are too quick and he's on her… his mouth brushing against her ear._

"_You weren't ready for me… never ready for me." And then he's tearing into her flesh, ripping her apart and she's screaming…screaming…_

When she awakes she's still screaming. It takes her a full minute to stop and for the first time in her life she is grateful that her father is out of town. Her heart is slamming against her chest painfully and she is soaked in sweat. She's reaching for her neck checking for marks that aren't there. Tears are on her cheeks mixed with her own sweat, her breathing rapid and shallow. It's been like this for over a week. The dream is always the same… always ending in her death. She doesn't understand it but she knows it has something to do with Klaus… something to do with the coffin that her and Stefan haven't been able to open. She leaves the bed and goes to her window. It's still dark, but there is light in the distance… morning is approaching. She wishes she knew what it all meant. Wishes she could understand why this dream keeps coming to her… and yet there is something inside her… that tells her she knows… she knows what the witches are trying to tell her… but she doesn't want to admit it. She's not ready to admit the truth… and until she is ready… Klaus won't be stopped…

_Hours Later…_

'_It's just a simple line_

_I can still hear it all of the time_

_If I can just hold on tonight'_

She's not sure how long she's been sitting there. Minutes…hours… she really can't tell. She's been staring at the unopened envelope in her hands since she retrieved it from the mailbox. Smooth and thin it slides between her palms, the school crest emblazoned on the front cover feels bumpy beneath her fingertips. She will admit she is more than surprised. And as she sits alone on her bed, her legs folded and tucked beneath her Indian style she can't help the feeling that courses through her. A mixture of joy and sadness wraps itself around her beating heart. The arrival of the letter hits her below the belt, makes her feel things. Things she thought she forgot how to feel. It makes her stop and remember a time when she had dreams…

Before her life became submerged in witchcraft and vampires, Bonnie Bennett had wanted something beyond the borders of Mystic Falls; had longed for a future outside her small little town. She had always wanted to go far away… separate herself from those she had been tied to since birth. It wasn't that she didn't love Elena and Caroline… they were her sisters… or as close as any sisters could be. And she adored her father despite his sporadic presence in her life. But that didn't stop her from wanting to be more than just the loyal best friend, or the obedient daughter. She wanted to stand on her own two feet, not just prop up those that stood in front of her. So when it came time to send out college applications she had filled out quite a few. All prestigious Law schools… all far away… all just a little bit further than the last. Harvard and Yale of course… because if you were going to dream… you should always dream big; at least that's what Caroline used to tell her. And then of course there was Heidelberg and last but not least, Oxbridge. The school crest stared back at her.

It's strange how only months ago filling out her college applications had been the biggest thing in her world and until today she had forgotten all about them. Too wrapped up in trying to stay alive and outsmart Originals and hybrids; She aligned herself with enemies that had become friends and friends that were still possible enemies. She had put her trust in two brothers, both seeking the same goal but unable to trust the other. She had allowed outside forces to dominate her entire world and put aside everything else.

Until today…

Today it all came back to her. The future she had wanted for herself. The plans she had made… It was all right here at her fingertips. She fought the trembling in her fingers as she broke the seal on the envelope.

She was interrupted by the sound of her phone. The distinctive ring let her know it was Caroline. She quickly sent it to voicemail ready to ignore the call. Less than three seconds later it beeped alerting her to a text message. It was marked Urgent. Three simple words in all caps covered her screen.

'_CALL ME NOW!'_

She exhaled deeply, rolling her eyes even as she dialed. "Caroline I'm in the middle of…" She began.

"Bonnie… it's Jeremy. He's in the hospital. It's bad… really bad Bonnie."

She was off the bed and out the door without hesitation never noticing the unopened envelope flutter to the floor.

'_I know that nothing…_

_Nothing survives…nothing survives…'_

Fifteen Minutes Later…

She stepped into the waiting area to find Elena and Damon huddled close in a corner. And there is a brief moment where her stomach clenches and bottoms out. It's only for a second and she doesn't have time to analyze it because Elena's eyes meet hers instantly, rimmed red from crying and any kind of tension that there might have been fades away…at least for the moment.

Elena throws herself into Bonnie's arms burying her face into her shoulder. "Oh Bonnie…"

Wrapping her arms around her Bonnie furrows her brow. "What happened?"

"Klaus happened." Damon answers sharply. Her eyes find his over Elena's shoulder. She doesn't understand his anger…not sure where it is coming from.

"What?"

Pulling back Elena wipes fresh tears from her wet cheeks. "Klaus compelled Jeremy to stand in front of a truck." She explains. "It was so horrible Bonnie."

"Why would he do that?"

"Why indeed?" Damon quips folding his arms over his chest. The way he is staring her down lets her know that he has spoken to Stefan.

"Stefan stole Klaus's coffins… he's holding them hostage somewhere and now Klaus is retaliating." Elena draws her back into the moment. Bonnie's face remains impassive allowing her friend to speak. "Everything happened so fast… the truck never even stopped."

"How is Jeremy?" Bonnie asks avoiding Damon's accusatory stare and effectively moving away from anything involving Stefan. She hasn't divulged her involvement in Stefan's plan to anyone and yet it seems that Damon knows something by the arctic stare he is piercing her with.

"It's bad… he's lost a lot of blood and the vampire blood isn't working. Nothing is working Bonnie. Not even the ring."

Biting into her lower lip she swallows hard. "Get me into his room. I can help him." She remarks.

Elena wrinkles her brow in confusion, even as Damon speaks. "What are you going to do? Last time I checked your ancestors stopped doling out favors after your last request."

"I don't need them."

"Have you been playing in spell books in your spare time?" He quipped.

"Can you get me into his room or not?" She shot back.

"I can!"

"Then don't worry about the rest."

Elena grabs her wrist catching her eye. "What are you going to do?"

She offers up a crooked smile that is laced in sadness. "I'm going to fix this."

"Bonnie…"

"Just…trust me."

Moments later…

'_I think I'm turned around_

_I 'm looking up not looking down'_

Damon and Elena wait patiently outside Jeremy's room as Bonnie goes inside and works her magic juju over the younger Gilbert. There is an obvious tension between him and Elena. Each one avoiding the obvious; that moment on her porch… where each gave into temptation… was it wrong? Was it ill-timed? Who the hell knew anymore? Everything was so complicated… these days. He barely knows which end is up. Especially after he had an in-depth talk with his brother the other day… which is how he found out about Bonnie helping Stefan. To say he wasn't happy was an understatement… but then again a lot of things were happening that seemed to be out of his control. He didn't understand why she would put her trust in Stefan's hands… he didn't understand why Stefan was suddenly back on the side of good. His brother had given him cryptic answers at best… and there were still a lot of secrets between them… the biggest being that he kissed Elena; The other being Bonnie's secret truce with Stefan. She obviously hadn't told Elena about it… the question was why… and better yet what were they planning? When she remerged her face was pale, her brow slightly damp, dark black tendrils clung to her temple.

"Well?" He asked.

"He's going to be fine. He's still a bit out of it… but he's asking for you. He's going to need vampire blood soon. It will help speed up the recovery." She directed at Elena.

The tall brunette nods already going for the door. At the last second she reaches out and hugs Bonnie. "Thank you… thank you so much." When she pulls back Bonnie simply smiles… but it never quite reaches her eyes… eyes that are tired and worn out.

"Go see him." She encourages and a moment later they are alone and Bonnie turns to Damon.

'_And when I'm standing still_

_Watching you run watching you fall_

_Fall in to me…'_

"I need you to do something."

"I'm listening."

"He can't stay here… he's not safe. You need to get him out of Mystic Falls."

"And how do you suppose I do that?"

"_Convince him_ to go."

It only takes him a fraction of a second to hear her double meaning. "I never thought I would hear those words from you."

She exhales deeply. "As long as he stays here… he's going to be a liability. Klaus is going to use him anyway that he can. He's got to get out of Mystic Falls. It's the only way to make sure that he's safe. "

He stares into her eyes, seconds pass between them. There is something different in the way she looks at him. Something not quite right; it is hard to define. It is almost impossible to put a finger on… but something has changed since that night she last saw him. Something has shifted… altered. "What did you do in there?"

She shrugs and exhales deeply. "It doesn't matter."

"Just like you throwing in with Stefan doesn't matter? I know that you helped him steal Klaus's coffins."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's all you've got?"

"Did you expect me to deny it? Yes I helped Stefan. I'm still helping him. The fact remains that Jeremy needs to get out of town and now! We can't protect him."

"Whose fault is it that he needs protection in the first place?"

"Are you serious?"

"The way I look at it… you're just as much responsible for this as Stefan. Klaus is on the warpath because of this crazy plan that you and my brother have going!"

"Klaus is on the warpath because he's a sadistic, sociopath that would like nothing more than to see the world around him burn! His problems date a lot further back than stealing a few fucking coffins! And you know what don't preach to me about crazy plans! You're the last person to talk!"

"Do you even know what you're doing?" He asks incredulously.

"I'm protecting the people that I care about."

"Well right now you're 0 for 1!" He bites out sarcastically. "I mean really do you have any idea what's happening here or are you just blindly following Stefan hoping that his martyr ways will lead him to self righteous redemption?"

Shaking her head she folds her arms across her chest and feels a bitter laugh escape her. "You are so full of yourself! You think the only plans that can work are the ones you come up with? Well here's a news flash for you… you had a plan and it backfired! It fell apart right at the seams."

"It fell apart because you and my brother decided to go rogue!"

"You should thank your lucky stars that your brother went rogue. It's because of him that you're still alive you jackass!"

He shakes his head. "What the hell does that mean?" He asks truly confused and it is in that moment that she realizes that Stefan has failed to mention that bit of information.

'Typical Stefan!'

With a deep exhale of breath she swallows hard. "Never mind… just forget it."

"No… tell me what you meant by that."

"Just drop it Damon. "

"I don't want to drop it! If you know something why don't you speak up?"

With a slight shake of her head she makes to walk around him going for the elevator. "It's not worth it." She stuffs her hands into the pockets of her jacket and watches the numbers light up as it nears the floor she's on. She can feel Damon's eyes boring holes into her back.

"What did my brother do…He saved me didn't he?" The question is quiet…so soft and it makes her stomach clench. "That was the backup plan Klaus had isn't it? That's why he stopped me from killing him… he did it for me? What was it? What was Klaus going to do?"

She feels him shift, and move to her side. Moments tick by in silence. "He ordered his hybrids to kill you if anything happened to him." She never bothers to take her eyes off the slow moving numbers above her. She wants to leave… wants to get away from this moment.

"Why would he do that?"

"You know why." She answers.

"We could have been rid of Klaus… no more hybrids… Elena would have been safe…" He began when she cut him off finally turning to stare him down.

"And _you_ would have been dead."

He barely notices as the double doors open and she steps on.

Shaking his head negatively he furrows his brow. "That doesn't make sense…" Reaching out he places his palms on either side of the closing doors keeping them open. "Elena is the woman that he loves."

"And you're the only brother that he has."

"He wouldn't choose me… not over her."

'_Am I making something worthwhile out of this place  
Am I making something worthwhile out of this chase'_

And the look she gives him…the sad smile that graces her lips makes his stomach bottom out. "He did." She replies. There is another long pause...silence that hangs between them. "Did you know that Stefan traveled with witches? He lived with them, ate with them…learned from them… for twenty years…" She saw the confusion in his stare. "Did you know that he knows spells that aren't in the Grimoire; ways to manipulate sight… ways to transfer energy from one person to another?"

"What's your point?"

"My point Damon is that there is a lot about your brother that you don't know…"

He eyes her with open desperation. He doesn't understand how it got to this point. Everything seemed so cut and dry. Everything made perfect sense ten minutes ago. He was angry with his brother; pissed at Bonnie… falling in love with Elena without regret or guilt and now… now it was all shot to hell!

"You think he's better than me? That he deserves her more than I do."

"I don't think he's better than you. Stefan has his faults… his shortcomings just like the rest of us. But he's made sacrifices… done things that I'm not sure I could have done and for that… I think better _of_ him …."

"Unlike me…I'm still the same guy…chasing after a pipedream."

"I didn't mean it as a comparison, Damon."

He nods but there is obvious disbelief in his movement. "Right… my brother…forever sacrificing himself, while the rest of us keep making the same mistakes over and over again." He exhales deeply. "The other night... what you saw between me and Elena…"

'_I am displaced …  
_

"Was none of my business." She is quick to shoot down this topic because she's not sure how she feels about it… not sure how to approach it. What is there to say? She has no footing to stand on. No room to pass judgment. He has never been anything to her. He owes her absolutely nothing but it doesn't change the feeling inside her… this indiscernible pressure that is growing… pushing against her chest from theinside out. It feels a lot like sadness but she doesn't understand why.

' _I am displaced…'_

And as he stands on the very threshold of the elevator, his eyes taking in every detail of all that is Bonnie Bennett … As he looks at her…really looks at her… he can tell, something has definitely changed between them…the constant shifting of her weight from one foot to the other… the look she gives him when their eyes meet. There is something in her stare… right behind the green light of her pupils… he can't quite place what it is… it is familiar yet foreign. There is a void. An emptiness has been created and what's so strange is that he doesn't know what was there to begin with. Yet he feels he has lost something between them; something very precious… very fragile… and God help him all he wants is to get it back. But how do you get back something that you didn't even know existed in the first place?

"Whatever is between the two of you… it's none of my business."

"I kissed her." If she is surprised by his confession she doesn't show it simply stands there in silence. "I love her." He admits softly.

"So does Stefan." She replies.

Her words aren't malicious… just honest. "So he deserves her more than I do…because he saw her first…loved her first… somehow that makes him more deserving of her?" He's not even sure why he's asking her this… not sure why it matters to him what she thinks…but it does.

'_And she's my friend of all friends  
She's still here when everyone's gone'_

Shaking her head sadly she offers him a wayward smile that never reaches her eyes. "You're not listening to me. This isn't about who loves her more… or who loved her first… at the end of the day that's not what's going to save her… loving Elena won't save her life. And that's what I care about… that's why I'm here. That's why I'm fighting! You and Stefan can go round for round everyday for the rest of your eternal lives but when it's all said and done… and the dust clears… it won't be you or Stefan that saves her…" She exhales deeply feeling tears come to her eyes… "It will be me… _my choice…_ it has to be me." And suddenly everything becomes clear to her and it breaks her heart because she finally understands what she has to do… what her dreams have been telling her.

"I don't understand. Why you?"

"Why do you think the witches make all the rules on the other side?" She asks brokenly. "Because we make all the sacrifices on _this_ side; we make all the hard choices… the ones that no one else can make…you love her… and you think that your love is enough to keep her out of harm's way… but you're wrong… you're both wrong." She remarks softly finally understanding…finally…finally she understands what must be done.

It seems so obvious now… the answer is staring her right in the face and it's almost comical that she missed it for so long. When she looks up into his eyes, she almost wants to laugh at his confusion. He doesn't understand… but how could he? He's so blinded by his affection for her best friend… so disillusioned by what he wants… she is almost jealous of this endless admiration for Elena… his loyalty to her. If only someone had loved her half as much. And before she can stop herself she is uttering words that should never be said.

"I don't think Stefan deserves her more than you do…I just think you both deserve better." She remarks.

Damon's brow furrows in confusion and surprise and she struggles on her next words…

"I could love you so much better than she could." She confesses sadly. "I mean… I don't… love you."She explains and she doesn't. That's not the story they were written. She is not foolish enough to believe that she has suddenly fallen in love with Damon Salvatore in a matter of weeks. She does feel something… but to call it love would be premature at best. Besides she knows what love feels like… she loved Jeremy. And what she feels now is so different. So it can't be love and she needs him to understand that. "I don't… What I mean is that…if I did… there would never be a question of who my heart belonged to. And with Elena… there always will be. Because she did love him first… and not that high school crush kind of love… but really love him… and let's be honest… you're always going to wonder. You're always going to question what she feels for you. " She exhales deeply. "And that's not what you deserve… that's not what either of you deserve." She finishes.

He stares at her for a long time… "Bonnie…"

"Damon…"

They both turn to see Elena standing in the doorway. "I think Jeremy needs your blood… he's looking pale." She states. She knows she has interrupted something… something important because the weight of it still hangs in the air.

He nods. "I'll be right there." He replies before turning back to Bonnie just in time to see the elevator doors close in his face.

'_No one survives  
No one survives_…'


	5. Choice

_**Touche Bonnie Bennett**_

_**Chapter Five: Choice**_

_Playlist: Never Let me Go by Florence and the Machine. __**(Seriously put this song on repeat and read… it inspired the entire chapter!)**_

_**Looking out from underneath,  
Fractured moonlight on the sea  
Reflections still look the same to me,  
As before I went under.**_

In the end it's like a race to the finish line… each one desperately trying to trip up the other to make it to the end… and the finish line… self sacrifice… Because it seems they are all running in circles to protect what they believe to be the most important thing:

Elena…

Elena's life…

They are all on their own mission of sacrifice… all believing that in the end if they can save her… protect her…somehow that will be enough. But they don't understand that what they are all striving for… what they are so desperate to do is for nothing…

They don't realize that they are striving to stop something that is inevitable. All of them pushing forward, stripping themselves down to the bone, sacrifice upon sacrifice… each and every one of them…

…all except her.

She has stopped because she finally understands… the dreams… the warnings from her ancestors; she knows what sacrifice must me made…

And as she kneels over Elena's body, her palms spread above her chest, the incantation on her lips… she wishes it could have been different…wishes that somehow things could have turned out differently… but in the end… it was all leading to this.

"_It's a shame that they will never truly understand you... or what you have to do."_

Her mother's words ring in her ears… the last words she spoke to her that fateful day on the Salvatore porch before she walked out of her life for good…

The sun was bright… almost blinding as she listened to her mother explain to her and Damon how to stop Alaric…how to make things right…

But things would never truly be right for any of them… not after this… not after what she was going to do.

As she feels her friend's life force slip further and further away there is a nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her that she is making a mistake… that this isn't what they agreed to…and it's not. The only way to save Elena was to stop her heart…just long enough to rid them of Alaric… His life was connected to hers so the obvious solution was that Elena had to die… at least for a little while. She would wear the ring, Bonnie would stop her heart just long enough to kill Alaric.

Her mother made it sound so simple in front of Damon… it wasn't until they were alone… standing in the afternoon sunlight that Bonnie sensed something wasn't right…

_**And it's peaceful in the deep,  
Cathedral, where you cannot breathe,**_

"_This plan won't work will it?" Bonnie asked._

_Abby stared her daughter down, the lie already forming on her lips when Bonnie put her hand up and stopped her. "Don't lie to me… After everything that you've put me through…after everything that you've cost me… and everything that I cost you… the least we can do is be honest with one another… I want the truth. The ring isn't going to work on Elena… when I stop her heart… the ring won't bring her back will it?" She asked._

_Sighing deeply Abby looked away. "No… the Doppelganger can't use the ring. She's immune…it won't work on her."_

"_Then why didn't you say something back there? I mean this entire plan is riding on the ring bringing her back…without it... when I stop her heart…"_

"_She dies and this can finally be over."_

"_Why? Why would you…" She began._

"_Because your friends don't see what's at stake… they don't realize how dangerous her being alive is! She shouldn't exist! It's better this way!"_

"_Who the hell are you to decide that?"_

"_I'm another Bennett that got caught in the crossfire and I don't want that for you. How many times are the Bennett witches supposed to be dragged into this never ending war with vampires? How long are we to be used for our powers and abused because of our magic? I gave up the one thing… the one thing in this life that I did right and for what? What good did it do? In the end it cost me everything! And you can't see it now… but this path that you're on… is leading you to the same fate."_

_There were tears on her mother's cheeks and obvious pain in her heart and if things were different… perhaps she could muster up some sympathy… muster up some kind of empathy. But she was so tired. At the ripe age of seventeen Bonnie Bennett felt as if she lived three lifetimes and she was just so tired of it all… tired of hearing the excuses… the reasons…tired of the sacrifices…tired of it all._

"_You made your choice… and I get it. I get the fact that you left to help a friend… to protect the life of a child that never asked for something like this… that I get… and I can forgive you for that… I can understand it… but you chose to stay away. You chose to never come back. That's not about witches or vampires…it's about being a mother… and you failed." She remarked softly._

"_I did the best I could." Abby remarked._

"_I know… it just wasn't enough." Her words aren't malicious just honest._

_Looking away from honest green pupils her mother exhaled an unneeded breath of air nodding silently. She only waited a beat before she spoke again. "Perhaps that's the curse of being a Bennett…forever destined to make the wrong choice… but then what does that mean for you? You realize that the only way to get rid of Alaric is to stop Elena's heart right… there is no other way… so you can either save your friend or you can stop a serial killer…what choice are you going to make?" _

"_She's my family…There is no choice." She answered._

_Shaking her head sadly her mother offers up a smile that is so familiar to her own it's uncanny. "If there is one thing I learned, Bonnie there is always a choice… and you're going to have to make it." Closing the distance between them she reaches out, placing her palm on her daughter's cheek. Her flesh cool against Bonnie's skin._

"_It's a shame that they will never truly understand you... or what you have to do."_

_And then in a blink of an eye and a gust of wind she was gone._

Present…

_**No need to pray, no need to speak  
Now I am under, Oh**_

Out in the middle of the woods, drawing on every ounce of energy that nature has to offer she watches as Elena's breath grows more and more shallow, can feel the beating of her heart slowing down until finally it stops.

She has never used her powers to take a life… and as she sits there listening for a breeze that never comes she feels the difference in herself… feels as if her powers have somehow been tainted…tarnished in some way. It is an odd sensation that covers her entire body. Looking down she watches water drop onto Elena's pale cheeks and thinks it might be rain… it takes her a moment to realize that they are her own tears.

And then there is a sharp gasp as Elena awakens… an undead Elena…

_**And it's breaking over me,  
A thousand miles down (on)to the sea bed,  
Found the place to rest my head.**_

In the end… none of them understand what she has done… when Elena awakens as a vampire and comes face to face with the realization that it was Bonnie who fed her vampire blood and then spelled her to forget… there is no mistaking the betrayal in Elena's eyes… Bonnie knew it would be there.

There is no way to avoid Jeremy's sense of anger, and indignation for what she has done… how she has turned his last family member into the thing that he has come to hate the most… he takes it personal. As if Bonnie did this to hurt him for what he has done to her. He still doesn't know that it was she who tried to save him by sending him away in the first place. Back when defeating Klaus was the most important thing. And it seems that he will never know. He will never believe that she did not do this as some twisted source of revenge for breaking her heart but simply because like the rest of them she too loved Elena…

There is a look of pity that shines like a beacon in Caroline's eyes when she learns of Bonnie's decision to bring back Elena without her consent… as if Bonnie has suddenly gone on a power trip and there is no bringing her back because she refuses to apologizesfor what she has done.

But how could she offer an apology when she doesn't feel sorry for what she did? She made a choice… and perhaps they didn't agree with it… but why couldn't they see why she did it?

And the Salvatore brothers, although grateful, stand beside the woman they love. Elena still feels betrayed and so their loyalty remains with her. She never expected anything different.

None of them get it…none of them can look past it… and none of them can forgive her.

_**Never let me go, never let me go.  
Never let me go, never let me go.**_

"_It's a shame that they will never truly understand you... or what you have to do."_

Her mother's words fill her with a deep sadness… because for the first time it seems that the woman who abandoned her all those years ago… finally may have truly understood her…

Two weeks later she finds her college acceptance letter beneath her bed briefly forgotten, and she thinks perhaps it was always meant to be this way; that in the end everything was leading to this.

Her father makes a few calls and in a matter of weeks it's settled she's going to Oxford, early enrollment. It only takes days for her to pack her life away. And as she stands in the center of an empty bedroom she can't help but reflect upon the irony. Finally she gets exactly what she wants… and all that it cost her… was everything that she ever had. She would cry if she had any tears left to shed.

_**And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,  
And all this devotion was rushing over (out of) me,  
And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,  
But the arms of the ocean deliver me.**_

_****_The morning of her flight she finds a Salvatore on her porch. His hands resting on the railing, his back to her, but somehow she can tell he knows she's there. He doesn't bother to turn around. She tucks her hands into the pockets of her jeans and stands beside him watching some imaginary thing in the distance. She squints from the brightness of it all.

"You could have told me." He remarks. "I might have helped you."

"Or you might have stopped me…I couldn't risk it." She watches him nod as if understanding. She waits a beat before asking. "How is she?"

He shrugs slightly… "Adjusting… Caroline has been great… and Damon has been helping her." He states and there is a slight hesitation in his statement and for some reason those words make her heart fluctuate. Like someone pushed the pause button for just a moment. "It's better for her… my brother learned long before I did how to accept what we are… he'll be able to teach her better than I could."

"That's good." But she doesn't feel like it's good.

He exhales deeply. "Something has changed. She's not the same anymore. She doesn't… I don't think she trusts me anymore."

"She probably just needs time." Even as she says the words she knows how empty they sound in this moment. Elena has been pulling away from him for a while and steadily inching towards Damon since Stefan left with Klaus. Neither one of them are so blind that they haven't seen it happening.

And even though he nods she knows he's thinking what has been on her mind for quite some time. "She's falling for him Bonnie." The words are raspy against his throat and she thinks she might see tears shining in his eyes but perhaps it's just the light. She can't tell and she has never been more happy about something in her entire life. With all the pain that Stefan has caused it still doesn't sit right with her when he is hurting. He may not be the best man all the time but his love for Elena is about as perfect as it gets.

She wants to give him something, something that will let him know that she has hope even if it's not for herself. "I still believe that it's always going to be you. She might be confused now… but you're her soulmate Stefan." And she's not sure if there is such a thing but if there is, then she knows Stefan is made for Elena.

He furrowed his brow in doubt. "I used to think that… I'm not sure anymore."

"She'll be back." And somehow she knows it to be the truth.

"And what if… what if I don't want to want her anymore?" He asks.

She doesn't bother to reply because if there is one thing that Bonnie knows… Stefan will always want Elena… they all had their crosses to bear… somehow his love for Elena became his.

They stand there in silence each reflecting on their own lives. "So is it silly of me to ask how have you been?"

She smiles."Okay… I guess I thought that being alone would be more…lonely. But I'm okay." And she really is. Being cut out from the group doesn't hurt as much as she thought it would. Yes there are moments… moments when she instinctually reaches for her phone to call Elena or Caroline and must stop herself mid-dial. But those moments have lessened with time. She believes that soon it will fade completely.

"Congratulations by the way…acceptance into Oxford isn't easy."

"Thanks. How did you know?"

"Your father may have mentioned it a few days ago at the supermarket." He smiled.

She nods at the image. She could only imagine. "Wow that's embarrassing."

"Noooo. He's proud of you… when do you leave?"

"Thursday."

His eyebrows disappeared into his forehead for a moment. "So soon?"

"There's nothing keeping me here anymore. I think it's time for a fresh start. I figure I might try being normal for a little while."He smiles warmly at the way her eyes seem to light up just a little. "Maybe go to class… get a little drunk at a frat party and have a one night stand that I will later regret for the rest of my life." She jokes.

"Normal is sounding pretty good right about now." He remarks. "I think I might go on an extended vacation myself… take a break from… this."

She laughs softly. "Well if you're ever in the neighborhood you know where to find me."

"It won't be the same around here without you."

She exhales shakily. "You know that's probably not such a bad thing. I've done a lot of damage Stefan."

"You also saved a lot of lives… mostly at your own cost." He remarks honestly. Reaching out he brushes his hand down her cheek. "So what do we do when we can't call Bonnie Bennett to the rescue anymore?"

She shrugs with a sad smile. "You'll figure it out." She assures him.

"Take care of yourself Bonnie." He turns away walking a few steps before looking back. "And thank you… for Elena. You're right… I'm not sure that I could have…" He let the sentence trail away.

She nods letting him know there is no reason to finish that sentence. "Remember what I said…always you Stefan. Always."

_**Though the pressure's hard to take,  
It's the only way I can escape,  
It seems a heavy choice to make,  
But now I am under, Oh.**_

The airport is practically deserted when she gets there. Turning to her father he takes his hands out of the pockets of his overcoat grabbing the baseball cap from his head. He passes it back and forth between his palms as they stand in front of security. He can't go pass this point. "So this is it…"

"Yeah…this is it."She replies shifting the duffel bag on her shoulder. There is a beat of silence as they simply stand there, her looking up at him and him avoiding her gaze and it seems like there is nothing else he is going to say. She nods running a hand though her hair. Reaching out she gives him something like a hug but it's so quick it can barely be called that. "I'll call you when I land."

She turns away from him and she knows she shouldn't be surprised by the lack of emotion that her father has exhibited. They are not that kind of family; have never been that kind of family. But it's been a rough few weeks and the only thing she really wanted was something to hold onto.

And it's breaking over me,  
A thousand miles down to the sea bed,  
Found the place to rest my head.

She has just given the attendant her ticket when she feels arms encircle her from behind. His cheek presses to hers and he pulls her back into him. "I'm going to miss you." Her father whispers in her ear and she's crying before she can stop herself. Turning into his embrace she muffles a sob in the crook of his arm and when she pulls back she is laughing and crying. He wipes the tears from her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. "Hey…it's okay. It's all going to be okay." He promises with a smile and she nods. "I'm going to finish this deal overseas, should take me about a week and then I'll come visit." He kisses her cheek and places the baseball cap on her head. "Don't forget to call me." He reminds her.

She exhales a shuddering breath. "I won't… love you dad." And then she's gone.

_**Never let me go, never let me go.  
Never let me go, never let me go**_

_**And it's over,  
And I'm going under,**_

He watches the scene unfold from the other side of the airport. Watches as she turns away from her father and how the older man embraces her from behind and then she's crying into his shoulder hugging him and promising that she will call. It's all over in a matter of minutes and then she's going through security and her father is walking away. He never says a word, never allows her to see him, just watches from afar. He thinks that maybe he should go to her but what would he say? Would he try and stop her? Would he thank her for saving Elena's life? Would he ask her for a chance to prove how much better she could love him? Challenge her to stay and show him what it meant to have her heart?

_**But I'm not giving up!  
**_The last question has him taking a step in her direction but the sound of his phone ringing stops him. He takes his eyes off of her for just a moment to catch the name on the caller ID and by the time he looks again she's vanished from sight. He exhales as he answers the phone. "Hey Elena…"

_**I'm just giving in…**_


	6. Time

Touché Bonnie Bennett

**Chapter Six: Time**

_Playlist: Once Upon Another Time by Sara Barielles_

_**No enemies to call my own  
No porchlight on to call me home  
Where I was is beautiful because, **_

_**I was free.**_

_Tick Tock_

_Tick Tock…_

Time moves differently here. In the beginning she feels like she is holding her breath waiting for someone to call. Every time her phone beeps with a new message she wonders if it will be Caroline telling her all is forgiven and when it rings she thinks it will be Elena asking her to come home. She is on edge, filled with anxiety believing that things might be falling apart back home and she is needed. But as the days turn to weeks and weeks turn to months she realizes that she is wrong… there is no call…

She no longer marks the time by the events surrounding Elena's life. She no longer keeps track of the weeks by what newbie villain is out to kill her ex-best friend. Instead she counts the days by how many she has left until her next paper is due. She tallies the hours by how many minutes are left in her Criminal Justice class. But there is something that keeps her mindful of the time as it passes… like an internal clock continuously on a loop… she can hear it so clearly.

_Tick Tock…_

_Tick Tock…_

She hasn't opened her Grimoire since she stepped off the plane and when her phone rings she now knows better. It is always her father. He tells her about his new contract that is monopolizing most of his time and how he hasn't had the chance to put up the Christmas lights since he's come back from Asia; or how he believes that the neighbors across the street are stealing his morning newspaper. Their relationship has gotten better since she's been gone. They talk more. They listen better. They are more like father and daughter than they have ever been. And it only took putting an ocean between them and a little time to make it happen. And as he goes on and on about the ineptitude of his co-workers and idiot Christmas shoppers she is tapping her pen on her wooden desk… the rhythm very distinct.

_Tick Tock_

_Tick Tock…_

_**Once upon another time**_

_**Before I knew which life was mine  
Before I left the child behind Be**_

At school she has taken on several classes and signed up for multiple tutoring sessions. Her favorite at the moment is Mythological Studies. Her Professor is younger than she might have expected but no less informative. He is a cool guy. She can admit that. He smiles easily, kids around with his students and teaches them without making them feel stupid. She likes one on one tutoring with him even more than his classes. She is not afraid to ask questions in this setting. She is not afraid to challenge him.

"So basically what you want to examine in your paper is the similarities and the contrasts between the ancient myths of the Greeks and the urban legends of today. Does that make sense?"

She nods as she hears the timer from her wrist watch go off the continuous ticking advises the end of their tutoring. She writes down the last of her notes. "You know it's all just a bunch of tall tales anyway. I mean really the idea that there is a man with a hook for a hand terrorizing college kids at night or that a girl will jump out from a mirror if you say her name too many times in your bathroom… it just all seems so ridiculous. I mean where does this stuff even start?" Grabbing for the cup of tea on his desk she takes a generous sip. It's some kind of mint concoction mixed with hints of vanilla, cinnamon and something else that teases her pallet. He makes it every time she comes for tutoring.

He raises an eyebrow at her statement. "Urban legends originate from grains of truth." He explains. Leaning against the corner of the desk he folds his hands in his lap. "Now I'm not saying that there ever was a girl that jumped through your bathroom mirror and sucked you in but there is a theory that the myth of Bloody Mary is taken from Mary Worth. A young witch from Salem wrongly accused of murdering her children and burned at the stake."

His left leg dangles off the edge, swaying back and forth like a pendulum in a grandfather clock. "By the time it's discovered that her children were abducted and murdered by her best friend who suffered a psychotic breakdown it was too late. Mary was a pile of ash in the town square, the scent of her burnt flesh still fresh in their noses. Now wouldn't you want revenge if you were wrongly accused… tried, convicted and executed?" He asks softly.

_**And stars lit up like candle lights  
I make my wish but mostly I believed**_

The night is cold and crisp. The streets are littered with twinkling lights, lamp posts wrapped in blood red ribbons. The snow is a vanilla white and crunches like ice cubes beneath her boots. Christmas is almost here and there is something different in the air she breathes. It is sweeter, fresher and makes her feel light and clean. She meets up with a group of friends from her Environmental Law Class to have a bite to eat. They don't talk about today's lecture or the winter mid-term that is less than a week away. Instead they mull over the idea of starting a book club and debate on who has the better winter vacation plans coming up. They eat fries and drink coke and laugh so hard sometimes she feels like her sides are going to burst.

As she says good night she is stopped by a guy from one of her electives. She has seen him before although exactly where she can't remember. He has floppy black hair and a smile that is slightly crooked. He reminds her of Jeremy, all wide-eyed innocence and it makes her heart flutter when he asks for her number. He writes it down on the inside of his palm (he forgot his phone in his car) and laughs slightly from embarrassment when the ink gives out on the last two digits. She watches his breath hit the air turning to a frosty fog before her eyes and she can feel the icy tips of his fingertips through her gloves as she hands him her own pen. In the distance she hears a clock strike midnight and wonders where the time has gone.

_Tick Tock_

_Tick Tock…_

She is rounding the corner of her dorm trying to juggle her books in one hand as she searches for her keys when his frame comes into her line of vision. The sight of him leaning casually against her door arms crossed and head bowed causes her to stop short her palm barely closing around the jumble of metal in her purse.

_**Where I stood was where I was, to be…**_

Stefan is at her door. His body casts a looming shadow down the cooridor hallway. Dark and long it makes her think of death. Her heart stutters as his eyes meet hers and she thinks of all the moments that will never come to be. Because Stefan is at her door; Stefan is at her door and nothing is the same.

He looks her way and silence descends over them like a blanket of freshly fallen snow and it brings tears to her eyes.

Because she realizes that she has been living on borrowed time. The events of her life since she has been away are like grains of sand passing through an hour glass. Slowly slipping through the centerpiece never to be seen again. She was a fool to believe that it would ever be so simple; That these moments were really hers to have. Time was never on her side and as he closes the distance between them she closes her eyes and strains to hear the ticking… the constant ticking that has abandoned her. But all she hears is the sound of his voice.

"Bonnie I need your help."

And just like that it's all over… just like that…

_Time's up!_

_**Once upon another time…**_


	7. Revelations

Touché Bonnie Bennett

Chapter Seven: Revelations

_**{So this chapter sort of just wrote itself/revised itself and rewrote itself again! LOL! This has some Bamon and Stefonnie. And no worries next chapter we are back in Mystic Falls. Happy reading!}**_

_Playlist- Oblivion by Bastille {Just because it sets the mood}_

She is standing in front of the window in her dorm room the cold air licking at her bare forearms as she listens to Stefan tell her of the troubles back in Mystic Falls. How he thinks Elena might be sired to Damon. How they have been working with Klaus to find this 'magical' cure for being a vampire and how Jeremy is now a Hunter that can't seem to keep his urge to kill in check. Which is definitely cramping Elena's new undead lifestyle. She listens to all of it and it sounds like a freaking whirlwind of unfortunate events that still don't add up to why he is here.

Seated on her bed his elbows resting on the muscular section of his thighs he looks up at her. "So that's where we are at."

She nodded but her mind was still stuck on something. "Wait… so Elena is sired to Damon? How is that possible? I thought the whole sired to a vampire thing was just a myth; like an urban legend."

Stefan shrugged. "Sometimes… if the bond between two people is strong enough, if there are feelings there… then during the transition it happens. But it only works if you fed Elena Damon's blood." He exhales deeply. "Did you use Damon's blood?" He asks.

She furrows her brow. "Damon didn't tell you? He didn't tell you about the plan?" And she smirks because of course he didn't. Why would he?

"What plan; what are you talking about?"

With a slight shake of her head she laughs at the situation thinking back on that warm day.

_Eight months ago…_

_He comes to her long after her mother is gone. She hasn't come back inside and for a little while he thought of simply leaving her out there. He always felt as if she liked to be alone. Yeah she put up a good front but he has always suspected that Bonnie Bennett preferred solitude. _

_He watches her from the doorway. Her elbows resting against the porch railing staring out into an orange fire sunset she is deep in thought or perhaps in mourning. It is always hard to tell with her. Every emotion is such a well-kept secret held so close to her chest. She is so different from Elena. Elena, who always wears her heart on her sleeve or in her eyes; is always so easy to read. She is an open book ready and willing to tell her story to any and all that will listen. But Bonnie's pages are encoded; her true meaning embedded within subtle nuances that are so easy to miss. It is no wonder it had taken him so long to pick up on it. He wonders sometimes how they could ever be friends. They are so dissimilar even in appearance. Her black tendrils that fall just below her shoulders are not nearly as shiny as Elena's and they aren't wispy and light. They don't flutter with the wind and they don't remind him of strands of silk slipping through his fingertips. Instead they are thick and smooth. Her locks are dense with waves and curls. They are full bodied ringlets that hold weight and smells always of fresh fire and summer lightening. Even the way the sun hits her skin is different. Light bounces off of Elena like it bounces off of water; never quite able to catch its luminescent rays. She reflects back beauty simply becoming of a mirror of what is already there. That is her talent. That is her gift. _

_Bonnie does just the opposite. Sunlight pours over her skin, seeping into her pores as if she is absorbing its very essence. She takes it in… transforms it and emits her own version of light. She breathes in air and exhales heaven. She reminds him of Poetry…of Lord Byron and Pablo Neruda… she is Shakespeare Sonnet number 18 wrapped in The Raven of Edgar Allen Poe. _

_Someday this young bird would walk in beauty like the night… and tread softly over a young man's dream. Someday Bonnie Bennett is going to love and the world will never be the same._

_He clears his throat and she turns to him. Her mossy green eyes move over him from the tip of his head, down to the soles of his shoes before finally coming to settle on his eyes. And he can't help but notice that they have the ability to say so much and yet speak so little. "So not that I'm complaining but are you planning on standing out here all day?"_

"_How much do you love Elena?" She questions. He arches an eyebrow and gives her a patented smirk and she shakes her head not to be answered with his usual innuendo or flippant remark. "You say that you would do anything to keep her alive… no matter what it takes; right?"_

_He doesn't bother to move. Doesn't even bother to verbally reply because he has made a habit of voicing the lengths he would go for Elena. And she knows this. She has bared witness to it time and time again. No one was above sacrifice; nothing was ever too much._

_For a long time she believed that Damon's love for her best friend wasn't love at all except it was. He loved Elena the only way he knew how. It was a desperate love; a loved that clawed at your insides and made you do irrational things. It was the kind of love that was about to save her best friend and she knew that. She was counting on it._

"_The ring won't work on Elena." She explains and her eyes have moved to over his shoulder. "If I stop her heart to kill Alaric… that's it. There's no coming back for her…unless…"_

_Several beats pass between them and he keeps time by the way her heart pumps inside her chest. She is asking him for something without voicing the words. She is asking him to do what he has already done countless times before. She is asking him to do it one more time knowing that this time there is no out._

"_How much do you need?"_

"_Just a drop." She answers quickly._

"_She won't drink from me."_

"_She won't remember." She replies._

_And for a moment he is surprised by her statement. The way the words roll easily off her tongue. There is no internal struggle about what she needs to do. There is no hesitation. If he will not help her than she will simply find someone else that will._

_She is asking him because she knows out of him and Stefan she can count on him to do it. It's not a question of will he but simply 'how'? He comes to stand beside her placing his palms on the railing watching the sun sink further into the horizon. Twilight is approaching and with it comes the dark._

"_She will hate us for this." He doesn't mind the hate. He has lived with less from Elena and it has always been enough… except when it wasn't. And for some reason ever since Bonnie's confession he can't help but wonder what it would be like to have more… how much better could his life be if Bonnie loved him? And he can feel her eyes looking over his profile. He wonders what she is thinking. He wonders if she ever looks at him and thinks of how differently their lives could be if one of them just made that move._

"_She only has to hate one of us." She's not sure why she wants to give him this only that she does. Perhaps because for once in her life she feels as if he deserves the chance to fight for happiness. The playing field has never been in his favor when it comes to Elena. Stefan…Stefan who always seems the better choice; the right choice; the only real choice; if she made him apart of this… there would be no going back. So instead she could give him a pass. Besides this was her idea; this was her plan and she was using his emotions to make it come to fruition._

'_**If there is one thing I learned, Bonnie there is always a choice.'**_

_Her mother's words echo inside her head. Yes there is always a choice isn't there? She was making hers._

_Pulling a small vial from her pocket she looks up at him._

_He vanishes and comes back in the blink of an eye a letter opener in his hand._

_His stare never wavers from her face as he breaks the skin with the blade. She reaches for him, her slender fingers wrapping around his wrist, he is so warm. She squeezes slightly moving the vial beneath him to catch the drops as they drip from the wound. And by the time she releases him there is no evidence of the cut._

_He watches her as she twists on the spiral top and places it in her pocket. His eyes dancing over the contours of her face and there is only one question that dances around in his head._

'_How? How much…'_

_He reaches out, his fingers halfway to her cheek when she looks back at him and the smile she offers him is so blatantly forced that he has to look away and take a step back._

_She ignores what he was about to do. "I should go." And she nods once and then brushes past him the tails of her black cardigan whipping behind her as she departs. He closes his eyes for a moment the question still on his tongue._

'_How much better could she love him?'_

_**Present…**_

"He knew!" His voice is laced with such incredulous disbelief and it almost makes her cringe…almost. He looks up at her. Hazel green eyes catch the light of her bedroom lamp and dance over her face. "He told me he wasn't sure whose blood you fed her. He lied to me." Shaking his head in disbelief he sighs. "You have to come back and help me fix this. You have to make this right. You owe it to her."

She shakes her head at the irony of his statement. If she hadn't done what she did Elena wouldn't be alive right now and therefore there would be no reason for her to come back. There would be nothing to fix! It is because of what she did that her ex-best friend has the chance to be human again? How Stefan missed this is beyond her.

"What exactly do you need me to come back for? I'm still confused as to what you want from me."

"Klaus says that the cure is protected by magic. Once we have it, the spell has to be removed before we can use it."

"Are you telling me that you travelled half way across the world to get me to remove a spell? There wasn't another witch between Mystic Falls and London that you could find to help you out?" Folding her arms over chest she raises an eyebrow.

"Not a Bennett Witch." He provides.

There is a beat of silence before she scoffs and shakes her head. "Of course…the fucking Bennett's strike again!" Running her palms over her face she groans with frustration. "How do you even know this cure is real?"

"Klaus says,"

She cuts him off with a wave of her hand. "And when the hell did you start working with Klaus? The last time I checked he was the enemy. How do you even know he's telling the truth about this so-called cure and even if he is… why does he care if Elena takes it?"

"A human Elena means more hybrids. As long as she is a vampire she's of no use to him."

Rolling her eyes she looks over his face. "And you're okay with allowing her to become Klaus's living, breathing blood bank?"

"I won't let that happen."

"Right…because you have done such a great job of one-upping Klaus in the past." She offers sarcastically.

"With your help I did." He replies with a smile and she returns it. It seems like a lifetime ago that they were working together, fighting on the same side against all the evils of the world. He sobers after a moment. "Bonnie you have to help me… she is not the same girl I knew… every day she is less like the woman I fell in love with. She's moving further and further way from who she used to be and becoming something darker. I don't know who she is anymore… or what eventually she is going to turn into but I have to believe that she wants to be who she once was. And without you I'll never get her back." He admits softly the tears are so close to the surface she has to look away. She hates seeing him this way. Running a hand over her face she swallows hard.

"How come you never came to visit me?" She asks and her voice is wobbly at best. She doesn't mean to ask him this but she has to know. She can't help herself and suddenly she can't stop. "Not once. You never wrote me. You never called me. And now you just show up on my doorstep and ask me for help." She exhales deeply. "I'm going to help you because that's what I do; that's who I am. But I thought that we were friends. I thought that you understood why I did what I did. I thought that you were my friend. I left and you never came to see me!" Her voice cracks and she hates herself for it.

He watches her lip tremble ever so slightly. "You have Marine biology this semester and you hate it because your professor has an annoying lisp and he spits when he talks. You like to eat lunch outside after your criminal Justice class and you like to grab coffee from that small French café off of Winchester only on Tuesday mornings because that's the only time they serve the French Roast you like." He smiles. "I usually come by once a month…" He confesses.

She shakes her head in confusion. "Why have I never seen you?"

"The first time I came… you were standing outside of the library with a couple people from your study group." He hesitates remembering that moment. "You dropped a book on the steps and someone made a joke about you being clumsy and you laughed. I had never heard you laugh that way and I realized it was because you were happy."

Leaning back against her dresser she grips the wood so tightly her knuckles are practically white. "I don't know if I can help you. I haven't practiced magic since I left." She confesses. She stares down at her boots, her left one untied and the right one not too far off. "I'm out of practice Stefan. After that day with Elena… something about my powers changed. They aren't the same anymore. There is something different about them. I don't know what it is because I've been too afraid to use them." Her voice shakes.

"Bonnie…" He stands taking a step towards her but stops when she looks up and he sees the tears on her cheeks.

"But I'll try…for you I will try." She must be clear on what she is saying. She wants him to understand. She is not doing this for Elena. Those days are over. She has to move away from that or she will never be free.

He nods. "We should get going. If we leave now we can catch the red-eye."

She halts him with a hand to his chest. "Wait… just wait. I'll come back… but I'm not staying. And I won't drop everything just to run back to help Elena. I have a life here. I have mid-terms and classes…and friends. So I'll come back with you for my winter break. But then that's it. Four weeks Stefan. You get four weeks and then you have to let me go."

He looks as if he is going to argue with her but nods at the last moment. The mere fact that she is coming back at all is enough.

"Okay. I'll uh… I'll buy you a plane ticket."

"Just make sure that it's round-trip." She replies.

There is a moment as if he will hug her but he waits too long and it passes them by. He steps away going towards her door and stops. "Just out of curiosity…what mid-terms do you have left?" He asks.

"Criminal Justice and Mythological Studies."

"You nervous?"

She shrugs absently. "Not really. Criminal Justice is kind of hard but I've been getting private tutoring for Mythological Studies…"

"Who teaches that again?"

"His name is Atticus but we all just call him Professor Shane." She replies.

He nods, the name not ringing a bell. "Is he new?"

"Just got here about two months ago; but he's really cool. Maybe you'll meet him on your next visit."

He shrugs…maybe.


	8. Love

A/N So I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter. Thanks for all those that reviewed. I'm truly humbled by the response I have gotten to this story! Thanks so much for the support. This is all Bamon! (well mostly anyway)

Touché Bonnie Bennett

Chapter Eight: Love

_Playlist- Bright Lights and Cityscapes by Sara Barilles – Put on repeat and muddle through._

He hears the sound of music coming from the back of the house and somehow he knows that it's her. He senses her before he actually sees her but then again Bonnie always did have a way of making her presence known without words. He listens intently as he draws nearer. The tune is slow, melodic and he knows the music even if he can't place it at the moment. It's right on the tip of his tongue and when he stops at the doorway, hovering on the threshold he listens ad he watches. Seated at the grand piano she doesn't seem to realize he is there. The room is dark, lit only by soft glow of candlelight. She is humming as her fingers stumble slightly over the black and white keys the song filling up the room. It is sad and beautiful and pulls at his long forgotten heart strings. He didn't even know she knew how to play. So many things still he doesn't know about her.

_**Hold my breath and I'll count to ten  
I'm the paper and you're the pen**_

One of the candles flicker in the corner and she stops instantly her eyes meeting his over the large mahogany body that stands between them. She pulls back ever so slightly and watches as he enters. His arms crossed he arches an eyebrow. "Don't stop on my account."

She shakes her head slightly. "I'm not very good." She can't take her eyes off of him. She hadn't been expecting him. She thought he was Stefan. He had left her there almost 30 minutes ago to answer a frantic call from Caroline. He had promised he would be back soon. She had sat in the library for a few moments before curiosity got the better of her and she began wandering. She never had the opportunity to explore the Salvatore boardinghouse uninhibited.

She came across two parlors, several guestrooms and two dining rooms before coming across the piano room. She's not sure if that's what it's called but it suited the space just the same. She had started toying with the keys to simply pass the time until Stefan returned. She lit the candles without effort and stayed there unnoticed… until now.

His arms crossed he leans against the doorframe as if unfazed. Her stomach bottoms out without warning as she watches him move.

"You're better than most." He glides along the edge as he comes around towards her. Seated at the piano bench she watches as his fingers trace the border of the piano's belly.

"I probably shouldn't have quit when I was 13 but playing never appealed to me. Just imagine how much better I could have been if I had just stuck with it…muddled through. It broke my father's heart." He leans into the corner, his body looms over hers and if this had been a few years ago she might have been on edge out of fear. But now she is on edge for another reason and she hates it.

He nods. "The piano isn't for everyone." He remarks.

"Is it for you?"

_**You fill me in and you are permanent  
And you'll leave me to dry**_

He looks over her face slowly, his stare intense and she can't tell if he's trying to intimidate her or not. He sits down beside her. His knee brushes against hers as he places his fingers over the keys. Never breaking eye contact he begins to play. It is an upbeat tempo that does not quite fit the mood but she listens all the same. She feels much like she did that day in the hospital. Standing across from him in the elevator with just the barest of spaces between them; her heart caught somewhere inside her chest beating rapidly against her ribcage.

"I'm a natural." He states with a smile that never quite reaches his eyes. He waits a beat and then dives right in. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm home for the holidays." She answers.

"Why are you _here_?" He asks again.

She waits a beat and then another. "Stefan asked me to come. It seems that things have gotten a bit crazy since I've been gone… Vampire Hunters and whatnot." Her tone is flippant as she smirks back at him.

He nods and offers her a humorless laugh. "Of course… and here I thought that you were done with all things Mystic Falls. Yet one call from the good brother and you just come running to save the day!"

She can't tell if he's more upset that she returned to 'fix' things or if it's because Stefan brought her back. She decides to test the waters. "You could have called." She replies and he smirks but continues to play. "Why didn't you tell Stefan that you gave Elena your blood?" She asks.

"What; and ruin the surprise? Besides I thought that was our little secret."

She rolls her eyes. "That was before you guys thought she was sired to you. And then there's this whole thing about a cure… I mean don't you care…" She began and jumps slightly when both palms slam down on the keys.

"NO I don't care! I don't care about some fucking sire bond or a cure that Stefan thinks exists. I've got everything that I want." He bites out. "And here you are trying to take it all away from me."

"I'm not trying to take anything from you. I'm here to help Elena become human again. And Stefan get back the girl that he loves."

_**I'm the writer and she's the muse  
I'm the one that you always choose**_

"By taking away the girl that loves me." He admits softly. "Why the hell do you even care anyway? Why does it even matter to you? The last time I checked you weren't one of Elena's favorite people. So what the hell does it matter to you whether or not she's human again?" He asked.

"Because it does…" She offers weakly.

"Because you're hoping to get the old Elena back… the one that cares about you. The one that will forgive you for turning her! But did you ever think that maybe, just maybe she's happier this way? That she wants to be this way? She doesn't even want to turn back… did you know that?"

_**She is bright lights and cityscapes  
And white lies and cavalcades  
And she'll take all you ever have**_

"_She doesn't or you just don't want her to?"_ She asks honestly. "Is this really what she wants or is this just what you want for her?" She's not accusing him of anything just asking him to face the truth. "She's not the girl that you fell in love with." She remarks sadly.

He exhales deeply. "But this one wants me." He admits sadly.

_**But I'm gonna love you  
You say maybe it'll last this time  
But I'm gonna love you**_

His words are so raw, so honest and they tear at her insides. He is pouring his heart out to her and it's breaking her. The tips of her fingers are brushing against his knee and she can't help but feel it…feel how close he is. "Don't you want to know if it's real? Don't you think you deserve that?" Her voice cracks and when he turns to her, his blue eyes so very clear and open she feels as if they are on the edge of something… teetering on the very precipice of something monumental. She felt it that day in the hospital and she feels it again… right here in this moment.

He exhales feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders and closes his eyes. "I don't know what I deserve… I'm just so tired… of fighting. I'm tired of this… this feeling. I want someone to fight for me."

And God help her because she knows the feeling. Looking past him she feels like her world is being tilted on its axis. How good would it feel to have someone go to bat for her? How great would it be to have someone stand up and fight for her, want her, love her, the way that she so desperately craves to be loved? What would she sacrifice; what would she give up? Would she be willing to live with a lie just to have some small piece of what she desperately hungered after? Licking chapped lips she feels her heart thumping inside her chest. She could tell him how foolish he is… how she knows that when it is all said and done Elena will always choose Stefan. That it's always going to be him. She knows this like she knows the sky is blue and deep down she thinks he knows it too. But he wants this so badly and she can understand that. She can empathize with wanting more than you can ever hope to have. It's like grasping for stars. You know they are out of reach but how can you stop reaching? "Do you not want me to do this?" She asks shakily.

_**Shield your eyes from the truth at hand  
Tell me why it'll be good again  
All those demons are closing in**_

He smiles sadly and when he reaches out, his palm cupping her chin, his thumb running along her bottom lip she can't help but see him. The man that he is…the man that he should have been and the man that he wants to be. He is struggling, teetering between the facets of all that he is and all that he hopes to be. "It doesn't matter what I want… you're going to do what you think is right." He answers. "You always do."

"Ask me not to do this." She whispers, practically pleading with him. They are so close now… so very close, that he can feel her breath on his lips. She is warm and so inviting. And he knows in that moment that she would give him this. She would allow him this happiness and he could take it and never look back… only he can't. Her words have never left him. They haunt him like the melody of the song she played. Her music is haunting him like her words. She is in his head, and has never left. Miles away, months gone and still she is just as present in his mind as she was that day in the hospital. And he wonders how she was able to bewitch him. He has Elena, and he is so close to having the life that he always thought he wanted but Bonnie is within arms-reach and he can't help but make a grab for her. Because after months of wondering, he just has to know if it was all in his head or if there really was something there between them. Did he make it up? Did he imagine it?

_**And I don't want you to burn  
Nevermind what I said before  
I don't want any less anymore**_

"We have to know if it's real." He answers and he's not sure what he's really referring to. His lips just barely brush hers and he shudders slightly when she doesn't pull away.

She realizes in that moment what is about to happen and fear grips her tightly because it becomes very clear what she is doing. Putting herself in the path between Damon and Elena can only end badly. She's not Stefan. She is no one's first love… no one's first choice. She can't compete and somehow she is about to throw herself in the ring. It's like Mike Tyson going up against Evander Holyfield… you might win a round or two but the ultimate fight would never be hers. She knows this. She understands this. But when his mouth hovers above hers, his breath is warm and sweet. He smells of bourbon and candy and all she can think is she wants a taste… just a taste.

_**You are carbon and I am flame  
I will rise and you will  
Remain**_

His eyes are boring down on her and they are so blue… more blue than she has ever seen; Dark cerulean hues that remind her of fire and ice; of lightning storms and waterfalls. They are so bright, so clear and they make her wish for impossible things. He moves forward and she hears the sharp chords of the piano keys as he puts his weight on them in his effort to come just a bit closer and take what he wants from her. His lips sweep across hers softly and she inhales involuntarily when they hear the door slam in the distance.

_**And she'll take all you ever have…**_

"Damon…" Elena's voice echoes, bouncing off the walls and rings in her ears. She is like a siren calling the sailors to shore. She watches the light in his eyes dim and fade.

_**But I'm gonna love you**_

They simply sit there neither one making a move and she can't help the tears that cloud her eyes or the tremors that fill her from the bottom up. The moment is there and then just like that it's gone. He pulls back as footsteps draw nearer. She blinks once and then again as he moves further away from her. The spell is broken and with it her heart. She looks down at her hand that has come to rest on his knee, his fingers flex over hers, hold her fingers within his own, they squeeze gently and then simply let go… and then he is gone.

"Wait…" The word it uttered on an exhalation of breath. It's so soft and shakes her to the core. Even with vampire hearing it would be missed.

_**You say, "Maybe it'll last this time"  
But I'm gonna love you  
You never have to ask**_

He doesn't hear her… He never looks back…

_**I'm gonna love you  
'Til you start looking back**_

He never sees the tears that fall onto the back of her hand as she sits in the darkened piano room once again alone. She lifts her hands to her face and cries silently into open palms. The scent of him is all that remains.

_**I wouldn't need a second chance  
I wouldn't need a second chance**_


	9. Pretend

**Touche Bonnie Bennett**

**Chapter Nine- Pretend**

**A/N Okay so this is my version of the Cure. I hope it's not too confusing and I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think and I just want to say thank you for all those that replied. I will answer each one it's just taking a little time. This chapter is longer than I ever thought it would be which is why it took so long to get out. Happy Reading!**

_**Playlist- Papercup by Heather Nova & Ready for a Fall by PJ Olsson**_

It's not until she has gotten her heart rate back under her control that she exits the piano room and makes her way downstairs. She stops at the double doors leading into the library. She hovers on the threshold listening to the faint sounds of familiar voices from the other side. Intonations that are reminiscent of long forgotten friendships and misplaced loyalty. These are the voices that remind her of hope and endless devotion. Now the muffled sound of Caroline's vocal chords make her hands shake; Jeremy's baritone causes something in the pit of her stomach to shift but it's not like before. It's a different sensation that no longer takes over her entire body; instead it's like a phantom ache that's not really an ache at all. She swallows hard as she reaches for the brass handles. The metal is cool to the touch and it takes her a full thirty seconds before she braves whatever awaits her on the other side.

The soft chatter from a moment ago stops so abruptly Bonnie would have to be a fool to believe they weren't talking about her and she would be lying if she said she didn't feel a bit self-conscience about it. It is evident in the way her heart fluctuates and misses a beat. She swallows hard as her eyes scan the room. Jeremy is sitting on the couch, twirling a wooden stake between his fingertips, as Matt watches with mild disinterest. Caroline is by the fireplace, hands on her hips as she stands between Tyler and Stefan. The former is leaning against the wall, looking somewhat irritable if not more than a little bored and Stefan has his arms crossed trying not to watch Damon and Elena who are at the bar across the room. Her eyes meet his briefly before landing on her former best friend.

Elena has always been beautiful but it seems that being a vampire definitely agrees with her. Her dark coffee chestnut locks are bone straight, cascading down the side of her face like mahogany waterfalls. Her skin looks milky smooth and frames her shadowy russet pupils. She is perfection personified. There is no way to ignore this kind of beauty and for just a moment Bonnie seems to rationalize why Damon is reluctant to give her up and she has to forcefully swallow the ache that has settled on her chest. Because at the present there is no room for it.

"Four weeks." She breathes the words on an exhalation of breath and clears the cobweb of tears that are still floating around in the crevices of her trachea.

She moves from the threshold taking refuge against the wooden banister. Her fingers wrap slightly around the railing and she leans into it for support trying to give off an air of complete nonchalance. She catches Stefan's stare and waits.

"Now that we're all here let's get down to business."

She does her best to listen to the plan all the while trying not to stare at anyone's face for too long but it is difficult. Matt gives her a smile that seems the most genuine if not laced slightly with guilt while Jeremy hasn't bothered to glance in her direction since she appeared. Caroline seems to be on edge, twisting her fingers together as her eyes constantly dart from Stefan back to her. Every now and then they catch each other's eye but the blond always looks away first.

Damon has come to stand beside his brother but she isn't blind to the way that Stefan keeps some semblance of distance between them and there is a tension there that was never there before now. It seems that the schism that is Elena Gilbert has finally damaged the brotherly bond after over a century. Elena stands close to Damon, always managing to find some way to touch him. Her fingers on his forearm, her shoulder brushing against his… it's all quite romantic and sickening. She likes to believe that she's not jealous… yes she would like to believe this very much.

When she hears the sound of her name she perks up and stares at the occupants in the room. "Now that Jeremy's mark is complete we now have the map, we have the sword and now we have Bonnie."

"You mean I have the sword." Klaus replies leaning against the doorframe. The smile he offers is as chilling as they come and makes Bonnie cringe. He turns his eyes on her and it takes everything she has not to shrink away from his piercing stare. The last time she saw him she was trying to find a way to kill him. By the way he is looking at her it makes her believe he wants to return the favor. "Long time no see Ms. Bennett… it seems you just couldn't stay away. Tell me something how did Stefan manage to rope you back into the fold when it is so apparent that these second rate vagabonds that you once called friends still can't truly appreciate your worth?"

"Put a sock in it Klaus." Caroline snaps folding her arms across her chest.

"Now… now Caroline. No need to be snippy. I'm just stating the facts. It's no secret that the lot of you cast out your resident witch when she stepped out of line. My only question is why she would ever come back here to help any of you when it is so clear that you don't deserve it."

"Well it's a good thing that I don't answer to you." She states coolly even if she feels anything but.

He nods. "Indeed… but just so you know… I would never mistreat you that way."

"I'm so flattered." She mocks, sarcasm dripping from her tone. She walks to Stefan's side looking over his shoulder at the sketching of Jeremy's mark.

"As you should be." Clapping his hands together he turns back to the group. "So we have a map but we don't know where to begin or where we are going."

"We're headed to Nova Scotia." She remarks. "This here… it's their Coat of Arms. Dates back to the early 1600's I think. It was adopted by the Acadians, which makes sense if the legend is true."

"What legend?"

"My professor told me that the Acadians were deeply rooted in sorcery. One in particular, Silas, was one of the most powerful sorcerers of his time. He would warn his victims of their impending misfortune before either taking their lives or the lives and health of their loved ones. It didn't matter who they were. I completely forgot about this story until now… I thought it was just another myth… a legend."

"What made him so powerful?"

"All his spells were in his head. He never wrote them down."

"I don't get it."

"Words are our greatest asset but it's also our biggest weakness. We find power in words. We use them to cut down our enemies but those words when written can be used against us. Any spell that's on paper opens the door for a counter spell. But if you keep everything inside your head then no one can challenge you. Which is what Silas figured out."

"Okay but what does he have to do with the Hunter's Mark and this cure?"

"Sorcerers, Warlocks and witches are all pretty much cut from the same cloth except one. Where Warlocks and witches rely strictly on magic, sorcerers deal in science and blend the two. Silas was a scientist that was obsessed with eternal life and therefore took a keen interest in vampires. In his opinion vampires were the next generation of humans with one flaw…bloodlust. So he set out to fix it. He did experiments, had test subjects… mixing what he knew about Biology and his own magic to find a cure. The cure had to be taken and then a spell had to be performed."

"Yeah but you said that this Silas guy never wrote down his spells."

"Except this one; he didn't have a choice. The cure induced death and the thing about the spell is that it only worked on the dead. But you couldn't cast it from the other side. You needed someone to perform it from the side of the living, someone with a lot of power. It's the only way it could work. So he gave the spell to a witch. A very powerful witch."

"A Bennett Witch." Damon supplied and she nods.

"So what happened?"

Bonnie exhales looking back down at the map set before her, as she muddles through the details of Silas's story. "The story goes that the reason why Silas wanted eternal youth and life was because he fell in love. All the power he could ever want and the only thing that made him happy was a young milk maiden from town. He wanted to be with her but he never wanted them to grow old. And she wanted to be with him despite everything that she knew. And so they decided to be together forever. They would die together and Ketsia, the witch was to resurrect them… only she didn't."

"Why not?"

"Because she was in love with him. She loved him and he loved another. She couldn't bare to watch him have eternity with someone else so instead when they took the cure she put a stake through both of their hearts stopping their transition. She took what was left of the cure and the spell and sealed it away and then killed herself." Exhaling deeply she avoids the faces around the room. "The Hunter's Mark must be able to tell us where the spell is."

"Well I don't know about you guys but I'm not equipped to jump on a plane and fly off to parts unknown for some taboo spell without some kind of game plan. I mean we need to sit down and work out the details of what to do." Matt jumped in. Seeing as how he was the only real human in the room it was pretty safe to say he wasn't about to just throw his life on the line without knowing what the hell to expect.

"I agree." Tyler replied. "We should take a week or two, figure out how to go about this."

"We don't have the time." Stefan sighs placing his hands on his hips, looking around the room.

"Why not; the spell isn't going anywhere and we don't want to jump all over this halfcocked and get someone killed."

Stefan's eyes cut to Caroline. "We've got four weeks… that's all."

"Why; what happens in four weeks?" Elena asks looking to her ex for answers that he is obviously reluctant to give. There is a long pause as the room waits for him to reply.

"I'm going back." Bonnie states. "To London. I'm going back to London in four weeks. So whatever we need to do for me to cast this spell needs to happen in that time." And even though her voice sounds steady she is anything but.

"What's happening in four weeks?"

She's not sure who asks but the answer she comes back with is quick. "My life." She replies. "I have classes and study sessions that I can't miss. I have… people who need me."

And the silent indication is very clear. She is no longer a main member of this make-shift Scooby Gang. She is a guest at best and she is okay with that. This is not her life and she doesn't want it to be. She has people who are now more important to her than those in this room.

When she hears Elena simply say 'oh' and take a small step back she almost feels sorry and the urge to reach for her, hug her and comfort her for the pain that she has caused is so strong; it's practically crippling and then she catches him staring. Icy blues that make her halt in anything she is about to do and she must look away. Not that it does much good because she can still feel him. His eyes have been on her since she walked in the room.

"But what if we can't do this in a month; then what?"

She doesn't answer instead she gives a slight shake of her head. Four weeks…that's all she could give them. And once again she is hit with a sense of suffocation that she hasn't felt in quite some time and she realizes that this is the reason she must get away. This is the reason why she can never be here again. This place; these people are no good for her or who she wants to be. They will forever hold her hostage; trying to keep her stuck in a place that she no longer fits.

"Well now that the witch has finally grown a backbone I say we speed up this little plan and get a move on…who's with me?" Klaus smiles to the sea of faces.

A few hours later everything seems to be decided. They will leave in two days and make a go at finding the cure. They have the map, the sword, and the witch and if everything goes according to plan, which Bonnie has a sinking feeling that it won't, she should be back to her new life in less than a month.

As she is leaving the boarding house she catches sight of Damon and Elena in the library. She is seated at the end of the sofa, her palms clasped tightly together in her lap as Damon stands over her. She is looking up at him, her face etched with confusion and there is something about Damon's façade that she has never seen before. She stops in her movements when she sees her former best friend take a stand and reach for him but he tenses beneath her touch and takes a step back. Before she can figure out what's happening Caroline is there asking for a few moments of her time.

She's on the precipice of making up an excuse except the blond is staring at her with those pleading pretty eyes and it's just too hard to turn her down. She nods once and follows her into the den Damon and Elena forgotten for the moment.

They stand on opposite sides of the room. Caroline's hands clasped behind her back, her stance is screaming with trepidation and Bonnie is not sure what to expect.

Caroline has never been one to wait on anything and so it doesn't surprise her when she jumps right in; asking her about school and boys and classes and for just a second Bonnie indulges her; Allows them to slip back into that old familiar routine of being besties; laughing and joking as if the last six months didn't happen and she rationalizes it simply by saying sometimes everyone needs a little time to play pretend… they can lie to each other and act as though nothing is wrong and they are the same as they always have been… but then Caroline goes and messes it all up with four words.

"Bonnie… I'm so sorry."

And just like that, pretend time is over.

She doesn't say anything and so Caroline barrels on, filling up the space between them with words of apology and regret.

"I should have called you. I should have been a better friend. It was wrong to shut you out. You were only doing what you thought was right." She reaches for Bonnie's hand and there is evident relief when she doesn't pull away. " I just… I just want us to be friends again."

"Friends… you want to be friends."

There is a beat of silence as Bonnie stares down at their intertwined hands. How many times had they held hands growing up? How many times had they reached back and grabbed for one another when either of them fell behind?

"Do you remember when we were in the fifth grade and you, me and Elena signed up for that Obstacle Run at school?"

"Oh yeah…Elena had to drop out because she got the flu… she was so mad." She smiles. It was one of the only times she felt like Bonnie was more of her best friend that Elena's. "It was fun."

She nods. "I hated it."

"What; you said you loved it!"

Chuckling softly she shakes her head. "It was cold that day and rainy and there was so much mud and I just remember thinking how lucky Elena was that she had the flu."

"Then why didn't you say something?"

"Because you wanted to do it… and you didn't want to do it alone." She exhales deeply. "And you wanted to win and I wanted you to win. When they blew that whistle and we took off, the only thing I kept thinking was 'please let her win." She smiles. "And you would have… you were in the lead, you had crossed the monkey bars no problem, you hopped the tires like you could fly and the only thing left was scaling the wall and you were already at the top and you looked back and saw me. And there was little ole Bonnie stuck at the bottom desperately trying to keep up… and what did you do?"

"Bonnie…"

"You reached down and grabbed my hand and pulled me up." She feels Caroline's fingers flex within hers. "Even though it slowed you down and cost you the race, you reached back and grabbed for me. And I never doubted that you would; Because that was us. That's who we were." She blinks as she feels the tears come to her eyes before looking up at Caroline. "So I guess what I'm saying is that yeah, we can be friends. We can send each other emails and call one another on the phone when one of us remembers and send strategically dated birthday cards and Christmas presents… but we can never be what we once were. We can never have that back again."

Cocking her head slightly there are tears in Caroline's eyes that have fallen beautifully onto her pale cheeks. "I don't believe that." She whispers brokenly and her tone tells Bonnie that she is lying. She does believe it…she just doesn't want to believe it.

Bonnie can understand that because this right here; this is hard and this hurts. She can completely relate. This truth is the breaking kind and how do you deal with something like that… Caroline didn't want to and Bonnie didn't want to make her.

_Apparently they were back to playing pretend after all._

"Barbie… your lap dog is looking for you." Damon remarks standing in the doorway.

Caroline wipes her eyes with the back of her hand even as she throws a scathing look in his direction. "Bite me!" She remarks.

"I'll leave that to your boyfriend…but then again that might just kill you!" He shoots back quickly smirking as she rolls her eyes.

"God I hate you."

"Ditto!"

Looking back at Bonnie she exhales deeply. "This isn't over." She remarks giving her a small smile and then zipping out of the room slightly pushing into Damon on the way out muttering a quick 'asshole' as she goes.

They are alone…

She can feel him still standing there, his eyes are on her back and she takes a moment. Her hands open and close a few times and she bites her lower lip and blinks rapidly before turning to him. There isn't even a second of reprieve before her eyes meet his and there is that feeling of suffocation again. He stands there blocking the only exit and she has a brief moment of insanity when she thinks of jumping out the window, crashing through glass and all but she's trying to be less dramatic these days.

"I should go." And there is a beat as neither one of them moves and she's looking at his face but it's giving absolutely nothing away and it dawns on her that perhaps the moment she thought they shared wasn't a moment at all. His lack of emotion is making her doubt what she thought was between them, or could be between them and it's making that weight on her chest that much heavier. Did she imagine it? Did she dream up that almost kiss? Can he really not see what she feels for him?

She moves to pass him when his hand shoots out barring her exit. His palm lays openly on the flat plane of her stomach and even through her thermal sweater she can feel his touch. She inhales sharply at the contact but doesn't move away. She looks down as his fingers press into her, lifting slightly and then pushing into her again, almost as if trying to determine if this is real, if she is real.

"Damon…"

"Bonnie…" He answers.

She swallows hard. "What are you…"

"I just have to know." His voice is low with a husky kind of smoothness and it has her looking up into his eyes. She watches them catch the light, blend and transform it into something she can't name. And that's when she sees that he's holding onto his emotions like a tightly tethered rope. His pretense of being nonchalant is quickly dissipating.

"Know…know what?" She asks.

He's looking into her face, and she feels naked and exposed and so fucking scared because she knows what's coming even if she doesn't really _know_ what's coming.

Before she can question him further he moves in and covers her mouth with his own his restraint snapping. It takes her a second before she realizes what is happening. Her mind is slow even as her body reacts to him instantaneously. She opens beneath his coaxing lips and when his tongue is in her mouth getting all kinds of familiar with her inside she can't help but moan and reach out for him. Her fingers tug at the ends of his t-shirt at his waist and the fabric is smooth to the touch like his skin. And all she can think is he is kissing her.

Being kissed by Damon is like skydiving. She has never been but she imagines this is what it's like. Free falling, desperately trying to breathe and unable to stop the constant rush that is pushing at you from all sides. And he is… it's like his hands and mouth and tongue are everywhere; wrapped in her hair, inside her mouth, at the nape of her neck. He is suffocating her and it's the sweetest thing she has ever known.

And she's not sure when he pushed her up against the door or even when he closed it but she can feel the wood at her back, the brass doorknob pressing into her lower thorax and when she pulls back for air she can't help but ask…

"Elena…" It's only one word but the meaning is very clear.

He presses his forehead into hers breathing in oxygen he doesn't need.

"Is gone," he answers and he can see the confusion in her green pupils. They are not just green though. They are a combination of colors, shades of emerald, jade and hints of mahogany. "I told her… the truth."

She furrows her brow. "The truth…"

"…she needs to be sure of what she wants."

"She wants you. " She answers because she really believes this. She knows this like she knows the color of the sky. In this moment Elena wants to be with Damon. She can see it. She can feel it. "What do you want?" She asks.

When he hesitates it causes her to step back, press herself into the door and put enough distance between them so he is no longer touching her. "Bonnie…"

"What do you want?" She asks again.

He is silent for almost twelve seconds but it feels like a fucking lifetime to her. "Bonnie… all I know is wanting her."

She nods and licks her lips. His taste is still there. He is still all over her even if he isn't touching her. But she can still feel him. She inhales….exhales and looks down at the floor because looking at him in not an option…not right now.

Her mind and her heart feel as if they have been run through a right here… this hurt…this pain…it will break her if she lets it. And she can't let it. She has to acknowledge that there is a part of him that still wants Elena when all she wants is to be wanted by him.

There are a lot of things that she can do. But this isn't one of them.

She can't play pretend with him.

_She won't._

She inhales and her breath hitches on a sob that never comes. "I'm real." She says softly. "What I feel for you is real." Even if what he feels for her isn't.

She swallows anything else she might say and turns away from him. She is halfway out the door when his hand grips the wooden frame above her head and his voice stops her.

"She's right you know…"

Looking back she focuses her stare on a spot at his chest. "About?"

He leans in his lips are so close. They are brushing against her cheek, the shell of her ear and she doesn't want to shiver but she can't stop it. He's practically hovering over her inside her personal space and somehow he seems closer than he was when his tongue was in her mouth. His other hand skims her shoulder and glides down her arm. He watches the movement as though his fingers aren't his own before he replies.

"This isn't over."


	10. Trespassers

Chapter Ten- Trespassers

Part One

**A/N So this chapter took a while but I just couldn't find any inspiration to write and because it was getting so long I decided to break it up into two parts. I'm not sure when part two will be up but just know it's when all the action starts. Thanks for all those that reviewed and thanks for sticking with the story.**

_Playlist- Terrible Love by Birdy_

_**It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders  
It's a terrible love and I'm walkin' in**_

Their plan to leave in a few days gets pushed out to a week because of course like everything in Mystic Falls, something goes wrong. In this case Kol resurfaces and tries to take out any and all that want to get to the cure. He spouts off some crazy spiel about Silas not really being dead. That he's somehow caught in limbo simply waiting to be resurrected and take vengeance upon the Supernatural world. And no one really knows how to take it but no one is willing to simply walk away from a chance at being human again. It culminates in a standoff pitting brother against brother and in the end Kol is left in ashes and Klaus seems more than a bit distraught. If he were anyone else Bonnie would feel sympathy and perhaps on some weird higher level she does. Perhaps they all do.

The death of a brother is painful.

And even if Bonnie does not understand Klaus and his actions she has a feeling that his love for his family runs deeper than anyone can fathom and with all the crap between them she can at least understand that.

So they take a few extra days and in that time she has tried to be as normal as the world will allow. She spends her days with her father making breakfast, watching black and white classic mystery films and at night she practices her craft. There is something different about her magic. She can't quite put her finger on it but something inside her simply feels misplaced. The spells come easy enough and maybe that is the problem. They come as easily as if she never stopped practicing as if she hasn't taken these months off and she's not sure why this bothers her, it's a nagging thought in the back of her mind but there it is.

She would like to talk to someone about this but there is so little time and she's really not sure who she can reach out to. None of them would understand and she hasn't kept in contact with her cousin, and she's not certain she would be able to help. Besides they leave in the morning.

Exhaling on a deep breath she stares up at the ceiling, her eyes focus on the blades of the wooden fan circling above her head. Her mind wanders and she can't help where her thoughts lead.

Damon…

She has not seen him since the night they watched Kol go up in flames and even then he did not say much but there was definitely something different about him… about them. His eyes seemed to follow her when she moved, kept her always in arms reach even if he never actually reached for her. Yes there was something different. As if there were pieces being shifted without her knowledge, things were moving she just wasn't sure in which direction.

Running a hand roughly across her face she groans and turns onto her side one of her arms resting on her side she taps her fingers into her abdomen and is quickly transported back to their kiss. His tongue in her mouth, his hands roaming her body as if touching her was all he could think of.

'_I just have to know…'_

Closing her eyes she tries to shut him out. She needs to shut him out. Pressing open palms to closed lids she tries to focus on something else. But ten minutes later and she's back to thinking about the way he had her pushed up against the wall preoccupying her personal space.

She is grateful when her father calls her downstairs and tells her that her best friend is waiting on the porch.

She is prepared for Caroline on her doorstep since the blond has definitely been blowing up her phone with texts and random calls. It's all very sweet and over the top which is so like Caroline that Bonnie is finding it hard to keep her at arms-length. She thinks it will be easier once she is settled back into her new life across the pond but somehow she doubts it.

_**It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders  
It's a terrible love and I'm walkin' in  
its quiet company, its quiet company**_

She stops short when she sees Elena's familiar chestnut tendrils instead. Standing at the railing her back facing her she doesn't move for a moment. She blinks once, twice and then thrice just to make sure she's not seeing things and when Elena turns to her and offers up a small smile Bonnie feels something in the pit of her stomach tremor.

She steps outside and closes the door behind her. They stand across from one another and this time it seems that Elena is taking her in. Assessing through new eyes all the ways her former friend has changed. The silence hovers above them, wraps around them and forces them to inhale it with each breath… only Bonnie is the only one breathing.

"I wasn't sure you would see me."

"My dad said my best friend was here." There is a smile that hovers over Elena's lips at the implication before Bonnie continues. "I thought he meant Caroline." She replies honestly and must force herself to ignore the hurt that passes across Elena's face.

She nods once. "Bonnie…" She begins but the witch cuts her off.

"Are you here because of Jeremy?" She asks and the confusion that blooms behind her pupils answers her question.

"What about Jeremy?" She asks.

She shakes her head. "We had… words." She finishes lamely. They had more than words. They had an all-out shouting match in front of the Mystic Grille a few nights ago that did not end well. She always knew that their confrontation was coming. She just hadn't expected it to be so fierce, so visceral in nature.

_Three nights ago…_

_She was at the Mystic Grille picking up take out for her and her father when she spotted him. He was playing darts with Matt. She watched him throw three in quick succession and smile widely when he hit the center circle with such ease there was no doubt that it was accredited to his new Hunter status. He looked so much like the boy she once knew. The boy that was so infatuated with his sister's best friend that she almost forgot what had transpired between them. That was until he caught her staring. The look he gives her borders on hatred and she has to turn away. She is quick to grab her food and makes an exit that is halted by the sound of the metal door swinging open rattling noisily on its hinges and his harsh words carry across the full parking lot._

"_Must be real nice to be you," he calls to her. There is bitterness in his tone that she has never known before._

_Her steps slow and come to a gradual stop. Her fingers press deeply into the paper bag of her takeout before she turns to face him. "So how does it feel?"_

"_Jeremy," She tries to reason with him because this is not the conversation that she wants to have. This is not a confrontation she wants to have because no matter what happens they will never be able to ever be anything more to one another than they are right now… And she means so little to him at this moment. It frightens her what will remain when all is said and done._

_She knows this. She feels it._

"_You know Elena used to say how big your heart was. That you could forgive anyone for anything; that's what she said about you… but it was a lie. I make one mistake and this is what you do."_

"_That's not how it was. I didn't set out to hurt you Jeremy. I was trying to save-" _

"_That's exactly how it was. I get that I hurt you. I do. And I understand if you wanted to hurt me but this…this is so much worse than anything I could have ever done." He watches her cock her head to the side, staring at him with wide green eyes and he fails to see the shift as they become unreadable so he simply barrels on. "And Damon tried to warn me. Of all the people in the world he is the one that tried to warn me of what you were capable of. I just didn't want to believe it but now I know."_

_There is a beat of silence before she speaks._

"_You have no idea the things that I'm __**capable**__ of." She states softly. "You never have." She tries to keep her words steady because her control is slipping so quickly. Her patience is not what it used to be. __**She**__ is not who she used to be. Her heart is only capable of taking the blows she has endured because of the ones dealt to her by those she loved. Those that have claimed to care about her have been the ones that have done the most damage and they don't see it._

"_What the hell does that mean?"_

"_Everything… it means everything and nothing. If you ever truly understood what I would do, the lengths that I would go for you, for her, for any of you then we wouldn't be here right now." Shaking her head she looks him straight in the eye. There was a time she would have fallen back on ceremony and been gentle with him; given him every pass in the book even if she could no longer give him her heart. But now even that was too much. She no longer had it to give. "You want to talk about truth; the truth is Jeremy that you betrayed me long before I ever betrayed you and you continued to betray me even after I saved you; after I continue to try and save you." _

"_Save me; is that what you call it? I can't walk into a room without the urge to want to kill Elena simply because she's a vampire! If that's what you call trying to save me I hate to think of what you could do to me if you really wanted to hurt me." He scoffs._

"_I didn't make you into a Vampire Hunter; if I had known that this would happen…"_

"_Yeah well maybe you shouldn't have tried to play with people's lives in the first place!"_

"_You mean like asking my ancestors to bring you back from the dead?"_

_He shakes his head. "You can't keep holding that over me. I never asked you to do that for me."_

"_I did it because I loved you!"_

"_I never asked for that either." He replies._

_There is a long pause and there is no way to hide the shock that hits her. The words hurt her heart more than she wants to admit and she has to blink several times to regain the ground that seems to have fallen out from beneath her. She watches the glint in his eyes as if he wants to take back his words; as if there is remorse for what he has said._

"_Bonnie…" He begins._

"_Fuck you." She whispers harshly. And just like that the look is gone and his face is impassive once again. "I gave Elena her life back."_

"_What life? She's a vampire! You turned her into the one thing that she never wanted to be. You took away her right to choose. I will never forgive you for this."_

"_I don't need your forgiveness and I don't feel guilty for what I've done and I haven't crossed some line that I need to repent for. She chose to feed! She chose to make the transition. What's really got you upset isn't that she's a vampire but that you know deep down that there is a part of her that likes it! That on some level Elena enjoys what being a vampire entails and that's what bothers you! The truth is I gave her a choice… you just don't like the one she made! So spare me your self-righteous lecture and your sanctimonious attitude! And for the record, you don't get to pick and choose when I'm allowed to help those that I care about. I do what I want. If you don't like it, then stay the hell out of my way!"_

_**And I can't fall asleep without a little help  
It takes a while to settle down**_

Bonnie swallows the memory as she looks up into Elena's eyes. "Do you want me to talk to him; I'm sure that I can help."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." She dismisses it with a wave of her hand and takes a seat on the porch swing and waits.

There is a beat of silence as Elena clasps her hands together as if trying to find words to fill the space between them. "How's school? How's London?"

"It's… new." She replies. "It's different."

She nods absently brushing hair behind her ears. "It seems to agree with you… you look… happy."

There is no point in telling her that she is happy; that she was very happy before Stefan showed up and brought back all the things she left behind. "Why are you here?" She asks and when Elena's eyes meet hers she feels the shift in the air almost instantly. She watches as she leans into the railing for support, her fingers grip the wood so tightly that her knuckles turn white.

Bowing her head she licks her lips and inhales in an obvious attempt to give herself time since she no longer requires air to breathe. "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me what you were going to do?" She asks.

"There wasn't enough time."

"Bullshit!" Shaking her head she looks into her eyes. "That's not true. There was enough time. You could have told me and you didn't! Why; why would you do that?"

"Elena…"

"And don't lie to me. Not again."

She shrugs sadly. "Because… I wanted you to stay. Because at some point I just got tired of losing people that I cared about. But most of all it was because sometimes I'm selfish; I was too selfish to risk losing you that way." It's the truth. She knows that now. She could have told her. She should have told her. But there was a part of her that feared her answer.

She refrains from blinking because she doesn't want to cry. She is so tired of crying. She swallows the lump lodged in her throat but it remains. "I made a mistake. I should have told you." She admits. "You were my friend, my best friend, my sister and I should have been honest with you."

"Is that why you asked Damon for his blood and not Stefan; because you knew Stefan would make you tell me?" She asks.

"No. It wasn't like that. Abby lied to me. She said the ring would work but she was lying. And Damon was there and we were running out of time. So I made a choice."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It wasn't simple. It was heartbreaking and it was sad but it was not simple."

"It wasn't your choice to make. God I'm so tired of people around here trying to decide what's best for me! I can make my own decisions. I don't need anyone to come and save me and I don't need you flying back from London to protect me!"

"I didn't." Bonnie cuts in softly stopping Elena's frantic pacing. "I didn't come back for you." She remarks.

"Bonnie come on. Stefan told me how he went to see you. How he asked you to come back."

"Right; _he_ asked me, so I came. Elena I'm not here for you. I'm not here to apologize or seek forgiveness from you. I came to help Stefan. He's my friend."

Elena cocks her head to the side as if not understanding the words that are coming out of her mouth. "Bonnie you really expect me to believe that you're not here for me?" And the question would sound so arrogant if it came from anyone else.

"Yes, because that's the truth." Bonnie furrows her brow because in this moment she realizes something very profound and very sad. "You don't get it. Elena I made a mistake. I made a really bad mistake by giving you Damon's blood without telling you and I am sorry. But you cut me out of your life. You walked away from me. You turned your back on me. After everything that we have been through and after everything that you have cost me I never gave up on you but you abandoned me!" She exhales deeply the tears already on her cheeks. "I don't want your forgiveness, because I don't forgive _you_!"

_**It takes an ocean not to break**_

_**It takes an ocean not to break**_

And the tension that blooms between them would break her heart if it wasn't already broken. Licking chapped lips she runs her hand through her hair. "I never realized how one-sided our friendship has been. And I can't blame you for that because I played my part in this. I allowed this relationship to exist this way for too long. And the sad part is you don't even see it. But then why would you? People have been falling all over themselves for you all your life; why would you expect anything less?"

"I never asked anyone to give up anything for me. I don't even want them to." She defends

"But we do it all the same and in the end we're always the ones that lose."

"It wasn't like that with us. We weren't like that. You and I were friends."

"We were exactly like that. We have always been like that."

Once again there is silence and when Bonnie turns to leave Elena's words stop her.

"Is that why Damon broke up with me?" She asks softly.

Bonnie looks over her shoulder staring into Elena's watery eyes. "What?"

Toying with her fingers she smirks sadly. "Yeah, he told me that he couldn't be with me until we were sure that what I felt for him was real and not brought on by the sire bond. Maybe he thinks that everything we are is completely one-sided and that my emotions and feelings aren't real." She swallows hard. "When he goes to visit you in London does he ever… does he ever talk about us?"

Bonnie is more than confused by her question. "I don't understand. Damon doesn't visit me."

"You don't have to keep it a secret Bonnie. I know about the trips he takes to see you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Look I found one of his old boarding passes from a previous trip in his leather jacket. I didn't put it together at first… but well you know what they say about curiosity and the cat. You would think that with all the years he's been around he would have mastered the art of clearing his browser history on his computer. He started taking trips about a month after you left." She offers up a crooked smile running a hand through her hair fresh tears still shining brightly in her eyes . "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together. I assumed he was checking on you… to make sure that you were okay."

Bonnie hears her words but finds them more than confusing. Damon had come to see her… Damon _and _Stefan were visiting and neither of them said anything. That didn't make sense. Did they travel together? Why not just say something?

She is almost too stunned to hear Elena's next words. "I guess I should go." The words are hesitant and there is no mistaking the hope that Bonnie will call her back; and ask her to stay.

"Yeah… I guess you should." She replies.

_**It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders  
It's a terrible love and I'm walkin' in**_

Elena nods and turns away. She takes a step but stops. "You know… just for the record, I never thought our friendship was one-sided. You were never less important to me. You were my equal. You were my friend. If there was something that I wasn't giving you…all you ever had to do was ask." She waits a beat for Bonnie to respond and but she doesn't. Her steps are quiet as she leaves Bonnie's porch perhaps for the very last time.

She watches her go and for some reason she is still surprised by the enormous hurt that she feels. It is so much worse than a broken heart. It is like a star burning out right before her very eyes and the pain resonates down to the very tips of her toes.

She will never be the same after this…

_**It takes an ocean not to break**_

_Thirty minutes Later…_

There is a loud unmistakable banging on his door that he never gets the chance to answer before it bursts open, hitting the wall and snapping one of the hinges.

"What the fu-" He begins when he is thrown onto the opposite side of the house by a sudden rush of wind and there on the threshold stands Bonnie.

"That's what I want to know. What the fuck is going on and why the hell does Elena think you've been spying on me for the last six months?!"

_**It takes an ocean not to break**_

_To Be Continued…_


End file.
